Begin Again novel Chapter 127

Over the next few weeks following the burning of the trucks, Liam threw himself into his work with newfound vigour and determination, spurred on by his unyielding guilt and grief over losing three of his drivers.

When he wasn't hounding the detectives about the lack of progress on the case, he was permanently on the second floor with the security team, monitoring all their freight trucks all over the country in real-time over a satellite feed.

Ellie, the head of the area, was happy to have him on board for the first week but nicely asked him not to return the following week. Her guys worked far better when they were at ease. They couldn't relax with him constantly hovering over their shoulders, barking and growling instructions.

With too many fires to put out, Liam didn't want to waste energy arguing with her. There were many ways to skin a cat. He demanded the technology team set up a live feed on his laptop where he could tap in at any time from the comfort of his office.

His therapist called to check in with him when he failed to show up for a few of his sessions.

Linda had seen the news reports and press conference and had heard from Eden that his senior assistant had recently retired. As a result, she was deeply worried about him. She was concerned he's going through too many changes and trying to take on too much, and he's not dealing with his feelings of loss and his grief.

"Do you want to come in one of the days? I can make time for you," she offered in her calm, monotone voice.

Liam didn't want to go in. He didn't want to talk. There were much bigger problems in the world than his dick. A few of their partners had jumped ship, and the company had lost almost half a billion in revenue following the attack. But it would never compare to the three lives they'd lost, and he explained this to Linda.

"That's exactly why you must come in," she insisted. "I'm worried that with all the pressure you're under, you'll spiral and regress to unhealthy coping mechanisms."

The call devolved into a screaming match very quickly from there.

"I pay you to fix my dick, Linda. I don't want to talk about my feelings!" Liam yelled when it was obvious she wasn't hearing him. "And unless you're calling to tell me you've found a solution to my problem, I don't think there's a point to these weekly check-ins."

"What about Eden?" Linda asked, bringing up the one person Liam didn't want to think about, had tried not to think about. An impossible feat, though, since she'd permanently taken up residence in his head and heart rent-free.

He missed her, but he couldn't look at her without remembering his crushing defeat. He didn't know how to face her after his disastrous attempt at fucking her fell flat, and he still hadn't dealt with the humiliation from it all.

"What about her?" He demanded.

"She told me you cut her off from your sessions with me."

"I did," Liam shot out an angry breath, stunned to learn Eden had gone and tattled on him to his therapist.

"Why?"

"Because I can't keep hurting her, Linda!" He shouted. "You said so yourself; none of this is her fault. She's the trigger, and I need to figure this shit out on my own."

"She wants to help you," Linda said quietly. "She wants to be there for you."

"The last two times she was there, she cried buckets!" Liam said as he looked out of his window. "Do you know how much my heart bled seeing her cry like that?"

"She cried buckets because of the divorce with her parents."

"All the more reason why I shouldn't put any more pressure on her," Liam reasoned. "She's dealing with a lot—her parents' divorce, the assault and a small baby to worry about. It's not fair to keep piling shit on her."

"Talk to her," Linda suggested. "She's confused and hurting and thinks she did something wrong. Tell her why you cut her off from your sessions."

"Okay," Liam said, his gaze back on the security feed on his laptop. "I'll talk to her."

But he didn't.

Instead, he jumped on his private jet with a few senior executives and, for weeks on end, flew all over the country trying to salvage the now fragile relationships with their business partners.