I'm Dying Mate (Iona Blackfield) novel Chapter 1

Prologue: The Dying Girl

Prologue: The Dying Girl

Death is nothing at all. It does not count.

I have only slipped away into the next room.

Nothing has happened.

~Henry Scott-Holland

+5 Points

She watches him or instead stares at him, knowing full well this isn’t a good sign. She was too pale, too knobby-kneed to be called healthy. She also didn’t have any hair anymore, and she doesn’t feel like she’s getting any better. Hope is such a funny thing or rather a

treacherous emotion that she has no control over.

• What am I doing? She mentally shakes her head at herself. She knows that there is nothing. and yet her whole body still hopes for something. I hoped. Hope. Two words that are the same, but have such different meanings.

The doctor, with his eyes soft, clears his throat. He’s uneasy that much is easy, but it comes with the job, and she knows that this is as hard for him as it was for her. He checks the ECG and the other machines to try to slow the inevitable, but it doesn’t work. It would never work since the truth has always been that she is, in fact, dying.

Even though he did everything he could to repay her mother for saving his daughter, he couldn’t save her. All he could do was let her live, do what she wanted, walk around again, and let her choose her own path. How long has it been since she made any of her choices? How long has it been since she lived her own life?

“You’re dying” he finally said the words that both of them already knew “In a year is our calculation. Your body has rejected every treatment there is, and it all came back.”

lona laughs, and she shakes her head, which once had those beautiful dark locks, and leans back on the hospital bed. The regular treatments took a toll on her body, took a toll on her soul. The only reminder of her mother, her hair, is gone now, and hopefully, it will come back.

Her assumptions were right, how could she not be right? Even though her eyes glowed with life, her body was still filled with bruises that she couldn’t begin to count, and her body was

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as thin as paper. Injuries that heal as slow as paint drying. Her once radiance was gone like her hopes and her dreams. All she could do was smile and laugh while trying to tell the others that she was fine, but she wasn’t. What else could she say? What story can she tell people? When all your life, you lived in this solitary life.

All she knew was the hospital and her brief public education when she was young. So, short that she barely could remember any of it. She barely had any friends at that time since she was still fresh from remission, too fragile even when they thought she was okay. Plus, she started in a class that grew up together since they were in kindergarten. How could she compete with that?

“Doc, we all know that I’m dying, you just gave me a deadline” lona chuckles. She can’t help it since she inherited her mother’s dark humor that no one could fathom. She puts her hand on top of the IV catheter on the back of her hand. “Well, there isn’t any more news, right? I guess I should get going.”

“Hold on, let the nurses do that, or at least let me do it” The doctor smiled at her boldness, “And yeah, you should live your life. Well, I will sign the papers to discharge you.”

lona smiles, “Thank you, doc… For everything”

“You’re welcome,” the doctor then extracts the IV and puts it away. He puts enough pressure with a sterile cotton ball to stop the bleeding, and though he looks professional, she notices the slump on his shoulders. The sadness on his face. “Well, I could… call your uncle to tell them about your condition… at least or if you want me to.”

“I would like to do it,” lona shrugs. She pats his arm to comfort him somehow, and she hopes he gets the message. “Maybe someday… on my own, but not now, I don’t want to tell them yet since they still don’t know that mom is dead. Maybe, I’ll drop off at their house once I am ready to say goodbye.”

“You have no plan on telling them now?” the doctor asks, surprised. He refuses to meet her eyes, he doesn’t want her to see how he disapproves of this. She understands.

lona laughs, “Doc, there’s a right time for everything.”

“Yeah, perhaps” He takes one more longing look at her hand. How he cursed at himself for being so weak-willed. “I won’t tell Synthia till you’re ready as well.”

3 months later

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lona faces the door of her Uncle’s house. Her nerves make her handshake, knowing all too well how protective her Uncle is towards her and her mother. After all, they were family, but when her mom went to Africa because of her work, the next thing she knew, she was being dragged by her drug-addict asshole of a father, away from them. At least she has to tell us a story about people she met because that’s the only exciting thing to know about her life.

Oh, Hi, stranger! Really? You had a pet lizard when you were five? Me? I didn’t have one, because my addict of a father beats us instead.

This made lona smile a little bit, imagining the shocked and horrified faces of the stranger in her imagination. God, she has turned into such an oddball. Probably, the effect of someone who wasn’t exposed to a lot of social interactions or she just inherited her mom’s dark, dark,

dark humor.

lona had grown out her hair. It came out in small elegant curls and stopped in the middle of her back. A lot had changed in 3 months, her naturally tanned skin was still too pale to call healthy, even though she thought she’d be able to hide her paleness if she had tan skin, but it didn’t work. Her black eyes are still full of life and glossy, and her lips are barely going back to their color. She wore her long-sleeve wool shirt and some jeans, to hide her accumulated bruises. At least her hair grew out at an abnormally fast rate, right? A good this is still a good thing as her grandmother used to say.

She got operated on again since she was having a hard time not getting involved in fights. She did inherit her mother’s sense of justice and guts, besides a dying girl isn’t afraid to lose her life. She mentally laughed at that last thought.

Plus, she lives on the wrong side of town. There was this time when a thief snatched a woman’s purse, and before she knew it, her feet were carrying her in the man’s direction. Sure, it was an idiotic thing to do, but the self-defense lessons she had from her uncles were handy.

Now here she was, She never thought she’d be in front of her Uncle’s door this fast since it had just been three months, and she was already saying goodbye. Isn’t it a little bit too fast or too quick? How would they react? What will they do?

They can’t save her, that’s for sure. No one can.

Questions keep swarming in her mind, but she knows herself. She knows that if she overthinks, she’ll turn and never come back. Sighing and summoning up the last ounce of her courage, she lifted her knuckl and knocked. Stopping her brain from overthinking for a few

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seconds, since that is how long she can keep it blank.

She glanced at her hand, the small bruises formed from the contact faded in about 14 seconds, not that she was counting.

Thank you, meds.

+5 Points

A few moments later, someone opened the large door, and a woman with brown curls that lay on her right shoulder opened the door. Her cerulean blue eyes were warm and familiar. The woman’s eyes were confused at first, trying to make out what she was looking at, but soon widened in realization. “lo…lona?”

“lona is that…is that you?” she whispers in disbelief. She raises her hand to cup lona’s cheek. She furrows her brows at the coldness of it but blames the unpredictable weather.

The warmth of her hand was heaven to lona, It’s not just because she was cold, she is always cold, but it also felt familiar, it felt a bit like the home she had a lifetime ago. The burst of her werewolf aunt’s heat exploded in her hand.

lona nods. “Hey, Aunt Farah”

Farah suddenly pulled her into a hug while tears fell from her eyes “My gosh! Ten years of not seeing you were enough to drive us crazy.”

lona laughs, it feels a bit off. It’s been a while since she genuinely laughed at the

ridiculousness of something. Even her aunt’s smell brings an emotion deep into her chest. So, so familiar.

“Ten years of not seeing you guys was enough to drive me crazy, too,” she says truthfully.

She was close to turning insane, especially when she knew she was going to die in a year. She never told anyone, but the truth is she was depressed. When she arrived in the safety of her new apartment that the doctor gave her, she bawled her eyes out until it was blotchy, and it hurt to close her eyelids. It was already hard enough to accept that she was dying, and the thought of not seeing her uncles and aunties was absurd.

Farah tucks lona’s hair over h rear and hugs her once again “Oh, your Uncle Fredo is going to be excited to see you. Jared and Keith will be happy to see you too!”

lona smiles, “I’m excited too.”

“Oh no, go in, go in. it’s cold out here, don’t stay in the cold, especially when you’re a human,”

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Farah insisted as she pushed lona in, even though it was summer. “Your body is so cold! High heavens, what were you up to human?”

lona looked around the cabin-like house, it was warm with the brown wood and all the carpets and mahogany furniture. As soon as lona entered, she was in the living room with four couches surrounding a coffee table, a fireplace with the fire lit on the corner, and some

more Persian carpets.

God, I keep forgetting how big their houses are.

lona was astounded at the design and space, it was more significant than any house that she had ever seen. She looks around, especially eyeing the pictures on the fireplace and the

walls.

There were many pictures on the wall, proof that there were people who lived in the house. But it was apparent how important the photos of the Alpha’s family were, there were a lot of pictures of her Uncle’s family which included her and her mom.

Her mom is the only girl in her generation since girls seldom happen in her family.

Her mom never had a mate, but her uncles, who were human, had Alpha Werewolf mates. This is because the males in her family often carried the “Mating Gene,” and her family is known for taking strong ones. Her Uncle was lucky while her mom was stuck with a drug addict douchebag who says he loves her mother but didn’t stop with the meth or cocaine for her mother’s sake.

“You’ve grown so much, but you are thin as a stick,” Farah commented as she held lona’s hands with hers “Well, we’ll fix that, come on.” Farah pushed her niece to the dining room and made her sit on one of the mahogany chairs with varnished tables and gold linings “Stay there, I’m going to get some food.”

lona watched as Farah left, and decided to look around yet again. She wasn’t known to follow orders well. The intricate design of the rug beneath her shoes was captivating, it looked complicated and rich in stories. It seems a bit tribal in all honesty.

She also noticed that the dining room was big enough to fit twenty men, and there were more pictures on the wall, thinking maybe it was the pack members. She studied them further, hoping to see familiar faces that she must have stumbled on before.

After a few minutes, Farah was carrying four plates that were even on her arms, and laid them on the table, she smiled and looked at lona with mock disappointment “Didn’t I tell you

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to stay still and sit?”

lona gave her a sheepish smile, “I wanted to look around.”

“Shush, child” Farah chuckles, “just eat.”

lona sat back down and looked at the beef stew, roasted turkey, mashed potatoes, and spaghetti.

+5 Points

“How did you cook all this?” lona says, eyeing unsurely if she can finish all of these, but she quickly grabs a plate, a spoon, and a fork then digs in.

“Well, it was just sitting in the kitchen. Waiting to be served, because if you’ve seen how much the pack members eat, you’ll be amazed.”

lona stops and puts down her spoon and fork “Aunty, it’s food for the pack you shouldn’t have given it to me.”

Farah frowns, “No, just eat, don’t worry about it. There’s a lot of food in the kitchen, they wouldn’t mind if you eat some.”

With that in mind, lona started to dig in, She hadn’t seen this much food since her mother died. In 30 minutes, the roasted turkey was almost gone, and the mashed potatoes were truly gone, some of the beef stew and the spaghetti only had a quarter left.

lona makes a satisfied sigh, and looks at her happy aunty “Thank you for the food.”

Farah smiles, “You are always welcome. Oh! Look at the time they’ll be coming home now. Come on, lona, let’s greet them in the living room.”

lona nods and follows her. Her palms sweating and going clammy at the thought of having the conversations that she practiced in her head a hundred times. They took a seat on the couch, talking to pass the time.

Farah didn’t ask much because she was quick to notice how lona closed up at intrusive questions. It made her worry about what her little niece could be hiding, but then people started to enter, eyeing the strange human that had a weak scent for a bit but chose not to

comment on it.

Three figures that only mattered came through the door. The man in the middle is taller than the teenagers on each side of him.

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“Dad, please, it’s just this once! Please raise my allowance,” Keith says. His dirty blonde hair goes under his brows, his strong jaw tense as his blue eyes look pleadingly to his father. Keith was wearing a blue shirt and his designer jeans, looking fresh and stylish.

Jared rolls his eyes, his brown hair long enough to cover his left eye. His hair was side-swept to the side because of the wind outside the house. He had blue eyes and fair skin, just like his mother. He had a lip ring on his lower lip and wore a tight black shirt with skinny jeans

Fredo looks unfazed, his black hair tousled, and his dark eyes devoid of emotion until he sees lona. His broad shoulders tense up, straining the skin on his massive muscles.

“lona?” he whispers, unsure while worry and disbelief cloud his eyes.

lona smiles and nods, “Hey, Uncle.”

Fredo was filled with joy, and before they knew it, he was twirling around the room with his niece in his arms. Pack members came in and looked at them curiously and even a bit amused by their leader’s joy. When he finally stopped, he let her go, and lona, as usual, got dizzy and ploped back down the couch.

mother? Are you your

all alright? Are alone? Are you with

you “Where have you been? Where’s your good for nothing, father?” Fredo asks, not taking a breath. He looks around, trying to scent any other humans in the vicinity. Worried as hell about his little sister’s antics and his niece’s life.

lona suddenly looks vulnerable. She tried to feel for the words she practiced the whole time, but her voice was nowhere to be found. Her voice fades at the mention of her dead mother, a conversation she wasn’t read, but she has to tell.

It was hard, to tell the truth, but she never lied before, so it would be easy to know if she was lying. She tried to get the words out that his little sister was dead, and his niece was dying in less than a year. But she wasn’t heartless enough to tell to him that quickly and easily, it was her mom for god’s sake and it’s her life! But she just couldn’t pull the words out of her tongue like her tongue couldn’t get around the shape of the words

Fredo sensing his niece’s distress, ordered the pack members to give them some privacy through the mind link, while Keith and Jared took a seat on the couch on either side of their mother as they watched their father interrogate their long-lost cousin.

“Uncle,” lona whispers as she suddenly feels her tears threatening to drop her eyes. “Mom is…Mom is dead.”

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Fredo watches his niece’s tears fall, and the realization hits him, his baby sister is dead and gone. It felt like one of those slow-motion moments in a movie. You could hear a fucking pin drop to the floor at the tension in the air. The sadness emanating from them is palpable.

Fredo pulls her in a hug. He tried to comfort her, but her tears wouldn’t stop, and he felt there was another reason than just her sister dying.

lona pulls back from him and stands, away from the eyes, that stare at her expectantly. She wipes her tears, but it won’t stop. She looks at her cousins, hoping that they’ll still remember her since they used to play together when she was six years old and close back then.

That was a lifetime ago, lona.

“lona, is there anything else you’re not telling us?” Farah says, her lips on a straight line. She reaches for lona’s arm to make lona look at her “Because we can take care of you. You don’t

have to-

lona suddenly yelped when Farah held on to the wrong spot. She pulls her arm away and looks at her aunt, who is confused and concerned.

Fredo turned a little bit impatient since her niece was taking a long time to tell them. He wants to fix the problem that is making lona anxious. His grief and pain from losing his little sister were set aside, for now.

lona sighs, “And… Uhm I-I-I’m going to die.”

Farah looks confused. How could this teenager who barely lived a life be dying? When lona looked at her cousins, she noticed how confused and bewildered they were.

Keith stands, “What do you mean dying?”

“i-l-l have… Cancer” lona struggles to say it, but she finally says it, proud at herself she goes on “It’s stage four, I have 9 months to live, 9 more months.”

“Where’s your father?” Fredo interjects

“Out there looking for me, blaming me for mom’s death and his misfortune of being poor,” lona says. She then slides up her sleeves, the giant bruises on full scrutiny and their eyes widen at the sight of them

“I’m dying in 9 months,” she repeats with no particular reason.

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“Since when did this happen?” Keith says. He gingerly grabs lona’s shoulder to look at her fragile cousin

“Ten years ago, the doctors said it was even a miracle for me to live until now,” lona explains, “I’m dying, I guess.”

Keith couldn’t resist pulling her small frame into his arms with such a pang of sadness and worry. “I finally get to see you again, and you’re just here to say you’re dying.”

lona hugs him back, “I’m sorry.”

“So, what happens now?” Jared’s voice broke, but he withheld any emotion. He is not going to break as smooth as his voice.

“Uh, I have to go, I have to live my life as the doctor said,” lona says, trying to make it sound casual.

“NO!” Fredo’s voice echoes inside the house, “You will not, you will stay in this house.”

lona shivered in fear but regained herself with Keith’s hold. She slowly looks at her Uncle again. “Please, uncle, I have six months to live, 3 months ago my doctor said I have a year left, but due to what I have done I’m not sure.”

“What do you mean by what you have done?”

“I sorta beat a guy on an alley because he tried to snatch a woman’s purse, and I sorta went back and forth to the hospital because I was trying to be a hero,” lona said in one breath.

Fredo was beyond pissed, he was furious, His hands formed fists and gone white, his eyes almost bulging out of his head, and veins started to show on his neck, “You did what?! This! This! This is what would kill you! You have the very same attitude as your mother; that’s why she got herself killed you should stop lona or God help me, but I am going to take drastic measures!”

lona froze, scared. Suddenly, something moves in his eyes, his wolf.

“Fine,” she whispers, “but in one condition.”

“What?” Fredo suddenly turns calm as soon as his niece agrees but doesn’t let his guard down just yet.

“Let me go to school with Keith and Jared,” lona says

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“What?”

+5 Points

“Please, uncle, I haven’t gone to a normal school for a while, and you know that,” lona says.

She had never gone to a proper school since she was known to be a girl. Every one of her Uncle and aunts has disagreed with letting her go to a school, knowing she’s delicate and fragile since she was a girl. No wonder her mother was aching to break free from the family.

Fredo sighs, he looks at his sons who look determined in some way, and Fredo already has what he needs to know. “Fine, since the two of them will protect you, but if you ever feel anything weird, go straight back home.”

lona smiles, “Thank you, then I have to go.”

“Where are you going?” Standing up, ready for an argument, or even a fight.

“Don’t worry, Uncle, Keith, and Jared are going with me. I just need to get my things in my apartment.”

In the Car

lona is in the passenger seat while Jared drives and Keith lies in the back. She was nervous since she hadn’t had a decent conversation with them in ten years, and back in the house was the first time she had talked to them.

“So, where were you in the past ten years?” lona asks,

“You know here and there, but the real question is, where were you?” Jared tried to sound teasing, but it just came out cold and harsh.

lona smiles, not minding it at all. She expected as much “The hospital, for ten years, I was in the hospital, but I try to sneak out if I can, or I’m well enough to do so.”

Keith puts his hand between the crook of her neck, checking her temperature “You do not have a fever, right?”

lona shakes her head “No, I am just pale because of my c-condition.”

Keith sighs in relief, but concern still lingers in his eyes. “How did you get this apartment?”

“Doc gave it to me,” lona says.

Jared raises a single brow, “For free?”

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+5 Points

She nods, gripping at the leather seat while looking straight ahead. If they thought she was pale in the house, she is even paler in the car.

“Why?” Jared asks, suspicious. Who in their right mind would give a teenage girl who is close to dying a fucking apartment?

“Because he feels a bit obligated. Mom saved his daughter’s life, and as payment for the past ten years, he tried to save mine. When he couldn’t, he tried to make my life as comfortable as possible.” lona sighs, “I feel bad for him.”

“Why do you feel bad for him? You should feel bad for yourself,” Jared let out a low growl, his hands turning white on the wheel.

“Because the thought of my death will haunt him. Because he didn’t save me and hasn’t gotten the chance to save me,” lona says, looking out the window, “and besides, if I feel bad for myself, then it will be hard for me to live my life since my time is running out. I don’t have that much time left.”

The two turn silent, not knowing what to say and not knowing how to take the pain from their chests away.

Seaweediswild

I hope you like it. Also about the hair thing, my grows really fast that it’s really like that for me.

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(1) Mate, Gone.

I will lend you, for a little time,

A child of mine, He said.

For you to love the while, he lives,

And mourn for when he’s dead.

~Edgar Guest

+5 Points >

Their silver Hummer parked in front of a two-story house complex with tall gates for security. It was a modern house, and from the looks and feel of it, it was like a young bachelor living in it, rather than a dying girl with cancer.

lona climbs down the large vehicle. It was hard for her height of 5’4, it felt like a mountain with her clinging on the seat as she felt for the ground. Her toes pointed down, trying to contact the gravel. She felt two hands on her hip and slowly lowered her down when she still hadn’t pressed the security of land. She turns her head to meet Keith’s amused eyes.

She makes a small smile, “Thanks.”

Keith grins, and a strange feeling that he hasn’t felt in a long time invades his chest. He ruffles her hair as if it was a habit accumulated over time together that never existed. “Welcome, Shortie”

lona groans, “Shortie, your ass.”

Keith chuckles but says no more.

Jared looks at the tall looming gates of the apartment building. His eyes trying to gauge what’s wrong with the place like how he was trained to.

Always look for faults before you trust anyone his Dad once told him.

He didn’t see anything that as amiss, it looked safe with a guard who was staring at his figure. He ignores the annoyance of being thought of as someone who’ll cause trouble, though he admits he does look like a troublesome kid.

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“Hi,” lona steps in to view the guard.

+5 Points

“lona!” his hard face cracks into a smile at the sight of the short, fragile girl. “Wait, let me open the gates for you…and your guests”.

“They’re my cousins” lona felt the words on her tongue, it was foreign and new. It wasn’t weird, but it was certainly strange, it hadn’t occurred to her that she’d say words like those.

“Oh,” Felix the guard eyes, the two teenage boys that looked nothing like the sweet human. “I see, well I shouldn’t keep you waiting then.”

He opens the gates for them while Jared tries hard not to growl at his face for even doubting him. He won’t stoop so low as to be degraded by a human he can throw over his height and break his neck.

“Let’s go then,” lona pulls at Jared’s arm, his gaze snaps at the contact, and for a moment, the anger is gone. He was…elated and followed meekly behind the short human.

JARED

Her room is what I consider simple and close to being bare. It had white walls, and black tiles, and it was just a studio type. A single door leading to a functioning bathroom, a big window that I estimated as 3 meters by 3 meters, overlooks the small square behind her building.

A bed that reaches the height of the window is pressed close to it. I know if I step out into the square, lona’s small body would be in view as she sleeps. I feel irritation gnawed at my insides at the prospect of my little cousin’s privacy being violated.

Keith seems to notice this too as he looks over to the window. He was on all fours on the bed while peering outside.

“Cousin, this is too…revealing, don’t you think?” Keith glances at lona, who is pulling a box from under the counters. I hear the kitchen sink dripping or what I think is the kitchen; everything here was just so fucking tiny.

She meets his gaze and shrugs, “It’s tinted, don’t worry.”

Relieved and satisfied with her answer, I began to look at the pictures taped on the wall. She has the right eye, but most of he subjects were looking away and purely candid. Should I tell her that that is illegal?

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I notice the books on the floor since the walls are bare of any surfaces they can be placed on. There were no dressers or cabinets but just a small suitcase on the side with all the

clothes she had ever owned.

Keith, she barely has anything I sent to the bond to which Keith just gave me a What-can-you-do shrug and a sigh.

Her room smelled like lavenders and the singe of strong medications. My eyes snapped on the kitchen counter where rows and rows of medicine lay open for anyone to see. It feels like a dying girl does live here, it is devoid of any warmth but a reminder of how lonely she is and

how cold her life is.

I can’t believe my cousin lived here for three months without feeling suffocated by this thick air of loneliness. It just feels lonely, it made a vice grip in my chest at my unlucky cousin.

I move to the window to look at the view of the square, I see a café, a small restaurant, and a bookstore on the back. I hear her piling the books in the box she managed to assemble, and I move to help.

“It’s fine,” she smiles at me, her eyes glossy and sincere “I’m not an invalid yet, you can just carry them down for me.”

My frown deepens

She giggles, For a moment, I am transported back to the time when everyone was still alive and not dying. Aunt Dianna and lona living with us in the vacation farmhouse without the pathetic male human that she calls her father. “Stop frowning, you look like one of those

Halloween masks,”

I purse my lips in a straight line instead. Is this what my little cousin lived in? It just seems so death-like. I mean, you could feel that the room was lived by a dying human, and I hated it. Why does she have to die? When we finally found her after ten years. How can she have cancer when she came from a healthy family? I guess, that good-for-nothing father of hers probably has a weak bloodline.

I hated my cousin’s father. All he did was do drugs and beat lona’s Mother up, I even wondered if he ever beat up my cousin. If he did, he better wish he was dead. I can’t imagine Dad letting that go so smoothly.

But there might be a chance, right? There could be a chance for her to live. I mean, if you have a werewolf mate, he’ll give you some blood that can be compatible with her, because

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they’re mates and heal her. No werewolf mate dies with any sickness, but they die in old age and or injuries. If only we could find her a mate in 9 months, maybe, just maybe it would give her a chance to live, because she has to.

I turned to look at Keith, who was looking at a huge teddy bear, I was about to tell him of the small chance, but the idiot was too absorbed with the huge thing. It grabbed his attention the moment he locked eyes with it.

lona is trying to reach a box from a high cabinet, I decide to help her first before she physically harms herself. She mumbles a small thanks and kneels by the floor again, she is careful on how to handle her things. I know she treasures everything she owns because of it

I smell her lavender scent, feel the weakness of her body temperature, and hear her steady heartbeat. Every beat is like a reminder or a time limit on her inevitable death.

“Ahh, Keith! Please don’t mess up my teddy bear. It was a gift”, she says to Keith, who was trying the weight of the enormous teddy bear.

“How the fuck did this even fit through the door?!” He says, exasperated. He looks at lona expecting a calculated answer

“We pushed it in…?” she says with a tinge of color on her cheeks, but that is all we can get from her that can be considered as a blush.

“How many months have you lived here?” Keith asks while grabbing the bear’s arm like a child. He glares at the thing like he’s accusing it of holding lona captive.

“3 months.” She says while getting her pictures off the wall.

I looked at her baffled, I opened the suitcase, but it was empty. Collecting dust and incredibly light to the touch, “Where are your clothes?”

She looks at me. Her black eyes looked troubled as if thinking if she should tell us or not, “I-I don’t have any clothes.”

“Why don’t you have clothes?” Keith interjects, still holding the Bear’sbear’s arm. I know he is trying so hard not to puncture his nails through his hand, gripping the fur of it.

I know the feeling, I wanted to punch the walls with my knuckles, but I shoved them in my pockets instead. I feel useless, hopeless, and incredibly stupid. We could have used our money to make her life better and make her feel safe and loved. She fucking lived just an

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hour away from the fucking pack-house.

My skin prickled my fur close to rustling out of my human skin.

+5 Points

“Well, I lived my life in the hospital, and I did have clothes, but it doesn’t fit anymore. Also, I had a chance to buy clothes in those three months, but the money will just go to waste since I’m going to uh…” I glare at her, daring her to continue that sentence, she gets the hint.

“…so, I wear hand-me-downs from Doc’s family. He gives it to me and takes care of the laundry for me,” she explains while playing with the hem of her shirt. She looks like a child again, the child that I grew up with until she was whisked away from us.

How many birthdays of hers and her Mother’s have we celebrated without them? How incredibly sad it gets in the house when we do.

“And those clothes are from this doctor, correct?” I point at her jean shorts and brown tee.

“Uhh, yeah, hand me downs. On Saturdays, Doc’s maid will take”, she says, before turning back to the box and starting packing again.

Today is a Saturday, so she’s clean of any old clothes.

“Where are your new clothes, then?” Keith squints his eyes in scrutiny at her

Her back tenses, and even when she was faced away, I could feel how nervous she was. She doesn’t want to answer. Why? I don’t know

“You’re looking at them, I try to not ask too much from Doc. He’s already done enough, you know?” She doesn’t look at us as she says this. I see her large bruises still there, mocking me for what a failure we’ve been.

“Mom would for sure take you to buy some clothes,” Keith says, hopefully. “Would you like that?”

lona’s face looked like she was going to protest, but I glared at her, daring her to. She shuts her lips and shakes her head “Sure, I think so.”

In the end, we only had three boxes, I carried all of it since it was incredibly light. Keith carried the insanely large Bearbear down the flights of stairs in his arms, All of a sudden, he stumbles through the stairs and his the corner.

“Are you okay?” lona asks, concerned

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I laugh my ass off, almost stumbling myself and dropping the boxes

“I’m fine,” he glares at me. “Thanks, cousin, at least I know someone who cares.”

+5 Points

After we put the box on the back and tied the Bearbear on the roof of my vehicle, I helped lona climb in and go to the driver seat myself.

“I’m sorry if all I’ve done is glare and be moody,” I whisper while thrumming my fingers on the wheel. I ignore Keith’s shocked face from the rearview mirror, his jaw opens and his eyes

wide.

I rarely apologize since I’ve started the Alpha training. I started around a year after lona and Dianna left. A lot changed after they left, It must be strange to be affected so much by them going, but we were incredibly close.

My father and Uncles doted on Aunt Dianna and lona. Being human with a gene that can carry Alpha pups, my father and uncles were taken by the council to prepare for it, but they never forgot the love they gave to my aunt even when they found their mates.

I wish that Dianna had the gene, but apparently, it skips sometimes.

“It’s okay,” She whispers, a small smile on her face. “I’m not much of a good company, to be honest. I’m called a downer a lot. I had limited social skills”.

“You’re not a downer,” Keith protests, after recovering “You’re a hoot!”

“Not really, I read a lot, technically spy on people, and I don’t like the mall or shopping so–”

“You don’t like shopping?” I question, incredulous.

I was taken aback, she was the first girl I know who didn’t like shopping because all the girls I dated loved shopping more than anything.

“You don’t like shopping?” Keith repeats he couldn’t believe it either.

“Yeah, never really liked the number of people, and there is a lot of crazy going everywhere,” she says as she sinks in her seat and grabs hold of the handle to steady herself. “Never really liked cars either.”

“You never rode a car before?” Keith asks

“Well, I rode an ambulance when I had to change hospitals, and let’s just say the floor has

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never been that beautiful after I puked on it” lona laughs, I don’t see the humor of her being in an ambulance. “but shopping may be fine, though I don’t have a sense of style.”

I sigh, trying not to destroy the wheel of my car as I drive. How long has it been since she lived this way? I try to not think about it because if I do, I fear that the painful vice grip on my heart would tear me to pieces, or I’d storm out of the car in my wolf form.

The latter would just induce panic in my small cousin, and the former is stupidly painful. Inhumanely painful, the closest I have to a broken heart.

Mom was turning crazy at home, especially when she learned that lona didn’t own clothes. She starts asking Slash to order female pack members of the same size to pull every spare piece of clothing they have for lona.

The only thing that stopped her from turning the whole place look like a refugee center was when someone reminded her there was a mall close to where we lived, and we could buy her new ones instead of another set of hand-me-downs.

Jessie, one of the female pack members, seems to like lona and helps her try clothes. Jessie had blonde curls and icy blue eyes that were easy to read, it’s incredibly hard for her to lie. She is a good five inches taller than lona and has the body of a track athlete because she is the best runner in the pack.

She has been training to be a messenger of the packs, the kind that crosses borders for messages to be passed. We have something called the Golden Pass, which is where the werewolf messengers do most of their job.

Werewolves are modern, but we keep tradition as much as we can that suits the humans’ time and age. We use emails and the internet, but we use the golden pass when we exchange important ancient scrolls made by the Moon Goddess

I was leaning on the wall, watching them try to dress lona’s small body, which was freaking thin and small when Dad came in.

“Where’s the coffee table?” Dad asks, looking over the room, the coffee table in question is under the pile of clothes that Mom was able to pull out from the members.

“It’s already here so might as well try some of them on,” She says

Dad’s eyes looked around the living room then landed on Keith, who was reading his comic book while lounging on the couch “Keith, did you throw the seventh coffee table again?”

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Keith realizes everyone is looking at him and sits up “What? No! That’s just sick”.

+5 Points

I chuckle, smiling evilly. “He did just that Dad, he threw it because he lost another one of his games.”

Keith opens his mouth to argue, but Dad beats him to it, “Keith! You are grounded, and you’re in charge of training the pups!”

Keith deflates and glares accusingly at me. Dad has used the Alpha voice, which means there is no going back from it. He huffs and sits beside lona to annoy me about how he can quickly get along with anyone.

Dad glares at him, then softens when he looks at lona. “Well, lona, I have news for you.”

lona turns to Dad with a small smile, “What’s the news? Other than Keith having to train with the pups?”

“You’ll meet Your Uncle Ross and Aunt Sarah with Michael and Doram,” Dad says. This wasn’t much of a surprise for Keith and me because we always see Michael and Doram in school along with our other cousins Airo, Manuel, Frier, Marco, and Moose. Yeah, our family is big.

“Where?” lona asks. I can see her tense and nervous. I just cleared it off my mind as excitement on seeing them again.

“Well, that’s the thing I need to discuss with you. They say they want to meet you now and want to meet you in a fancy restaurant downtown. With us, of course, are you up to it?”

lona nods “Sure, but oh! I don’t have anything to wear”.

“Don’t worry, honey. We’ll go to the mall, I’m sure there might be time to buy something, right babe?” Mom asks Dad with puppy dog eyes. Dad, please do not fall into the trap

“Well, they did say 7 pm, and it’s only 1, now. So, maybe you guys do have time,” Dad says.

I groan-stupid mating bond.

“Good, I will take your credit card, honey,” Mom says as she dashes out of the living room along with her car keys “Let’s go, lona! KEITH JARED YOU GUYS TOO!”

Oh, joy.

IONA

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Once again, we were in this horrid car that was faster than Jared’s Hummer. I feel nauseous, but in a matter of freaking seconds, Aunt Farah stops and finally said we’re here. I didn’t know, but I realized I got out faster than I could get in. I drop to the parking lot without a care in the world while I feel my breakfast settling in my stomach.

Holding my stomach, I try not to vomit on the parking lot ground since I feel like it would be rude to do so. I suddenly feel someone raise me, “Are you alright?”

I shrug, “to say the least.”

Jared helps me brush the dirt off my knees and hands. I keep wondering why though, when I can do it on my own even if they are overacting over my….predicament. We then walked into the mall, I have only gone once in here, but the noise and people keep freaking me out.

Even though all these things are happening in my life, I’m thankful that I got to be with these people though I know I’ll be leaving soon. I thought of the clothes that would undoubtedly be left in their care.

I know of the Mate theory, Doc already threw the idea at me, and I thought, No. I don’t need a mate because I don’t want one.

Sighing, I say, “Aunt, I’ll go look around the other shops. Just stay here in case I don’t find anything.”

Aunty Farah gives me a once over, trying to think if it’s smart to let me out of her sight. “Okay, but be careful.”

I nodded and left, I searched other shops for dresses, and I did try my hardest to look for a dress, but I found myself slacking off in a bookstore. I was checking on the books that aren’t in plastic and tried to read the open ones.

I saw the new release poster and couldn’t hold myself from the excitement. I was about to take one of the books, but I felt someone’s hand over mine. I think electricity travels through my nerves like I was struck by lightning.

The warmth and sparks went to the tips of my toes and deep into my chest. I look up to see a guy with black hair that is very long and shaggy, A part of me wants to run my hand through his hair, but I bit my lip to stop myself. I notice his electric green eyes and the tattoos that run up his arm

I feel my mouth pop open, but I quickly close it and run to the lady’s room. I suddenly see that

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it’s empty, and I’m relieved to see that there is no one there. Sighing in relief, I start to wash my face

Doggone it! I have a fucking mate! This is what they used to tell you, It has to be the mate thing. I know it! The bedtime stories from your Aunts finally were of use, huh?

I groan while feeling for the tissues with my eyes closed. My life is stupefyingly tragic

“Here, Love,” a low husky voice says. My back immediately straightens at hearing it, I know it. My heart starts palpitating at the thought of him following me here.

“Thank you”, I say timidly. Taking the tissue since he had just offered it to me. “What are you doing here?” I ask that seems like a shriek

He frowns. No, he scowls as he sniffs the air, and his eyes land hard on me. His gaze makes me feel like I don’t want to exist that I shouldn’t exist. “You’re a human.”

“No, duh!” I shout, I suddenly feel ashamed and mad at hearing how disgusted he was at learning I was human. I push him away, wanting to get as far away as possible.

“Don’t-Don’t! Don’t touch me!” he shouts, for a minute I felt like dying as my heart started to feel like crying, but I sucked it up and tried to look unaffected. That is easier said than done

“Uhm, sorry if I’m touching you, but…” I gulped, “You should go out of the lady’s room.”

“I wouldn’t have gone into this place. If only I have known my mate is a stinking human,” he grumbles as he steps out of the lady’s room.

I suddenly felt the same pain when my cancer had moved up into stage three, It was a writhing pain in my chest like I couldn’t breathe, and every part of my body felt like it was beaten up into pieces. But I think this one is different, more severe, and no drug can take me away from the pain. Tears trail down my cheeks while I bit my lip and ran away

My mate just rejected me. The most idiotic thing in that sentence is that I thought, I hoped even just a bit, that I could have a mate and he could save me. Confusing from what I initially declared of not wanting a mate but a dying girl could hope, right?

I

When I got close to the store where I left Aunt Farah, I noticed Jared and Keith were just outside. Sitting on the bench, waiting for either her or me. They soon look up and see the tears. The two of them seemed bewildered and started to move to me. Jared just pulled me in a huge hug

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“What’s wrong, lona?” he asks, calming me down by running his hand on my back. “Are you sick? Should we go to a hospital?”

“It’s nothing I’m fine,” I lie, while not looking at them. I really can’t afford to look at them in the eyes because I’d break out the truth if I did. I’m horrible at lying.

“You sure? You smell like someone, wait” I can feel him grab my hand and sniff it “You smell like… The Fire Pack Alpha, Damiano”

I think my heart skipped at his name and broke into a thousand pieces realizing he didn’t want me. “O-Oh, that’s his name.”

“What did he do to you, lona?” Keith asks “I swear, I’ll beat him up to pieces–”

“No, don’t please, uhm, he asked directions, and I just answered him,” I lie, still avoiding their gazes as I said it. The lies were already massive in my heart, and guilt started to swarm in my mind.

“he better be, and you should be as far away from him as possible,” Keith says, he looks unconvinced. Still, he doesn’t push it. “his pack is one of the ruthless ones in the werewolf world. He hates humans, and when one of his pack members has a human mate, it’s either death for the two or banishment or look for another werewolf mate.”

My eyes widened, horrified. He’s going to look for another girl

“What’s wrong? He hurt you, didn’t he?” Keith says

And as if on cue Aunty calls for me, and I pull them to the direction instead, “She calls, we’ve got to go.”

THIRD POV

Farah bought a lovely cocktail dress. A midnight blue one so lona can use it for any other events that she wants to attend.

Twirling around in front of Farah, she let her hair fall on her shoulders and straightened it out with a comb. It still pained her that her mate rejected her, and she was still deciding if she should tell her uncle or not.

But honestly, she’s too scared that he’ll freak out and go berserk. He’ll go mad and declare war between his pack and theirs. The Blackfield brothers are known in North America for always being united as they are brothers by blood, which means their packs help each other.

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She looks at her reflection in the mirror, her room was given to her by Farah. It was different from her old apartment because this one was warm with yellow walls, a cream-brown wood floor, a life-sized mirror, a queen-sized bed, a white dresser, and a walk-in closet. It feels a bit more like a home than a hospital room or the lonely apartment in which she temporarily

lived.

She realizes that the dress doesn’t suit her, because it’s not her style. She likes it but not for her. She isn’t pretty enough to carry it with confidence, nor is she healthy enough to have any sort of glow.

She starts to play with the lace that is tied on her waist, she’s nervous to see her Uncle Ross and Aunty Sarah it even made her have a date with her toilet as she throws up every time she thinks about what’s going to happen.

Her mom might have known what to do, but she doesn’t. She felt the need to throw up again while Farah trailed after her and held her hair back

“Are you alright?” Farah asks softly. Pushing lona’s hair from her face as she threw up in the

toilet.

lona nods. “Yeah, just nervous.”

“Okay, come on now, lona. I’ll give you something that’ll take that nervousness out”, Farah said as she helped lona wash her face and sit on the bed.

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