Excluding the uncle, the incidence rate for the three generations of the Shelbys was close to 100%. Anna did not know what to say to comfort Jacob as well.
"The heritability rate is 95%, and if the attack happens during labor, then the death rate is almost 100%. We can’t afford to take the risk." Jacob's eyes were misted.
'I know how much you were looking forward to the child, Susie. But for all of us, nothing matters more than your life, so don’t blame us. Besides, even if the child is born, there is a huge chance that he or she will inherit the disease as well. It is not fair for the kid.’
Jacob was comforting himself with all sorts of excuses, hoping to lessen the ballooning guilt within him but to no avail. His heart was still very heavy.
Anna did not know how to comfort him. She could just stand beside the bed and watch him with a worried expression.
The night was dark.
When Susan woke up in the middle of the night, she realized Julian was hugging her very tightly from behind. She poked him a few times to push him away and said, "What are you doing, Julian? I can’t turn around."
"Just let me hug you for a while," Julian replied, his voice hoarse.
He was in deep distress lately. He was on the brink of collapse, but he could not let Susan know about his condition, so he could only stagger on day by day.
He knew he should make the decision as soon as possible, but every time he felt the baby moving in Susan's stomach and saw Susan's gentle face, he just could not do it.
But now, it could not be delayed any longer...
"Cut it out, Julian. Stop being so mushy." Susan's face blushed when she felt Julian's breath on her ear.
"Don’t push me away, Susie. Just stay in my arms for a while," Julian said through a deep voice.
Susan's face turned even redder. She allowed Julian t o hug her for a long while before asking in an undertone, "What happened to you, Julian? You seem a little weird lately." 1
"I'm fine. I suddenly feel like I've fallen in love with you even more,” Julian said, his voice came out as a whisper, "Susie, I'd lose the whole world if you leave m e."
As such, he could only choose to abandon the baby.
Julian was certain that he was sinful. The baby came into this world because of him, but now he was killing the baby.
If the baby knew about it, would he or she resent him? He supposed so.
Perhaps, even Susan would hate him as well.
But even if the entire world resented him, he would still insist on his decision.
"Fallen in love with me even more?" Susan turned around and stared at him, "So are you saying that you didn't love me at all in the past?"
Julian was caught between laughter and tears. He planted a kiss on her forehead and said, "In the past, I thought I loved you enough, but only now I realize that my love for you will never stop growing. I keep falling i n love with you more and more every day. Susie, I don't know to what extent I’ll love. Perhaps even I am afraid of myself."
"Hmph! Seeing how sincere you are, I’ll forgive you this time," Susan said with a smile. Then, she yawned.
"Go back to sleep, Susie."
Susan began to get sleepy again. She then replied to Julian in a dreamy sort of a way, "Alright, then. Good night, Julian.”
It took her no more than a second to completely fall asleep.
Julian ran his finger over Susan's profile. His eyes in the dark were filled with a myriad of complicated emotions.
Susan thought he was just talking nonsense, and only he himself knew he was telling the truth.
Right after he knew that Susan had gotten the latent cardiovascular disease and that she might become ill a t any moment, he fell in love even more with her.
He and Susan would not have children anymore, but it did not matter for him as long as they had each other.
If one day Susan suddenly had a heart attack, everything would be good if she could survive, but what if she could not? Without a child, he would not have any burdens and he could go together with her a s well.
'Susie, if I knew I would love you to this extent 18 years ago, I'd certainly not miss any second in those 18 years. I'd grow with you, and I’d go through all the ups and downs in your life with you. However, unfortunately, there are no what-ifs in this world. The past is the past. Although I couldn't fully participate in your previous life, I assure you I'll be with you through the thick and thin in the future. No matter where you g o, I'll be with you."
Julian looked at Susan for a while and then let go of his hand. He got down from the bed and went to the study next door.
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