The Alpha and His Contract Luna novel Chapter 20

Darren.

I was still in Sebastian’s pack. Staring at nothing in particular. It was after the whole incident had taken place. When Lauren had lost control and attacked Miranda.

After she was tranquilized Sebastian had taken her to their room. While he had ordered Miranda to be thrown into their pack dungeon.

I was completely lost and cold. So fucking cold. How did it come to this? I thought I had everything. My mate and daughter by my side but it all turned out to be a fucking lie.

How could she do this to me? I trusted her. Had given her a second chance after she chose Sebastian ten years ago. So how could she cheat on me? How has everything gone bad?

I hear footsteps behind me but I don’t bother turning. Just continue leaning on the balcony. Staring at the endless darkness.

“You okay Darren?” Brent, my beta and Claire’s mate, asks me.

How do I answer that question? How do I tell him that I didn’t even know what I was feeling? Is that even normal? Being unable to describe your feelings after such a cluster fuck takes place.

I felt numb but I also felt raw at the same time.

“I don’t know man…I just don’t fucking know” I whisper.

He claps my back but I don’t even register it. My mind lost in its misery. I’m an alpha but what I’m feeling right now is crashing me. Stripping me of being the strong leader that I’m supposed to be. I feel weak. Feel pathetic.

“Let’s get you inside. Miranda’s fate will be decided tomorrow” he tells me. Sympathy in his voice.

I hate that. Hate that he’s sympathizing with me. It reminds me of memories I’d forgotten. Reminds me of the first time Miranda broke me. She broke me and I still fucking gave her a chance to do it again.

“You go. I’ll just stay here. I need to clear my head. It’s a mess”

“No. If you’re staying then I’m staying. There’s no way I’m leaving you alone in this” he replies.

He was not only my beta but my best friend, and time and time again he has proven that he’s a great friend.

He tried to warn me when I began seeing Miranda behind Lauren’s back. Told me not to fall for her crap. That she was only with me because Sebastian no longer wanted her. I didn’t listen though. Blinded with the love for her that I had kept hidden. Blinded by the what ifs that I still carried.

For a while, my relationship with him, Claire and that of my parents had been ruined. Because I had been too stubborn to see what they saw. A year later here we are. Miranda having broken me for the second time. This time it’s even worse because I knew what she was deep inside and I still fell for her traps.

What’s the saying; fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me. It's a bitter pill to swallow knowing I was the fool that got fooled twice. It fucking hurts.

“Is this how Lauren felt? When I cheated on her?” I ask no one in particular. Brent doesn’t answer, just sighs.

‘This and probably more’ my wolf Kai answers in a small voice. He's more broken than anyone could tell. Our fated mate turned out to be a cheating slut and the woman we left for our mate no longer wants anything to do with us.

We took a chance, giving up Lauren in favor of Miranda and we fucking lost. We lost big time. How am I supposed to survive this? The last time it happened I had Lauren to pull me from the darkness. Right now she won’t even spare me a glance. Her hatred for me burns deep. So deep I doubt she’ll ever forgive me.

And what about the baby? The one Miranda said that Lauren couldn’t carry full term. I didn't know that she was pregnant, but even if I had, I doubt in my state of mind it would have changed anything.

“Did you know about the baby? The child Lauren lost?” I ask.

“Yes” he nods.

“Tell me everything” I pleaded. What else had I missed while I was in a Miranda state of mind? What else had happened while I was too cooped up in Miranda to think about anything but her?