Begin Again novel Chapter 30

Eden didn't know how she managed to drive home in the emotional state she was in. She couldn't even remember leaving Anderson Logistics. She must have, though, because she only realised she's home when a perturbed Brenda dashed out of the house and ran up to the car.

"Is everything okay? Did you forget something?" The sitter asked as she pried open her door and helped her snap off the seat belt.

Eden heard her questions, saw her lips move, but she couldn't process. Her mind was too tired to compute, let alone form coherent thoughts and translate them into spoken words.

"Did something happen? Are you hurt?" Brenda carried on as she pulled her out of the car and flipped her around a few times, checking for any visible signs of trauma.

She paused and frowned when she couldn't see anything wrong.

"Say something," Brenda asked. "Are you hurt anywhere?"

Eden sighed and touched her chest.

Yes, she was hurt, right there, in that place where her heart used to be.

But she gave Brenda her brightest smile and assured her she was great in a voice that was oddly calm and bubbly.

Everything was okay. Peachy even.

But the minute she stepped inside the house and Aiden looked up from his toys, staring at her with his father's eyes, Eden burst into tears and ran to the bathroom, locking herself in there for the better part of the hour while she cried herself sick.

Brenda correctly assumed things had gone wrong on her first day. She let her cry her eyes out in peace while she took Aiden outside to play.

While Eden was still a blubbering mess on her bathroom floor, Sienna called to check how her first day was going and immediately knew things had gone up in flames at the office when she heard her wobbly voice.

"We'll stop by after work. For now, take a long bath and stuff your face with anything you can find."

Eden took her friend's advise and had a long bubble bath but skipped the face-stuffing. Hungry as she was, she couldn't bring herself to eat anything, not when her heart was so heavy and dark with sadness.

She paid the sitter and promised to call her the next time she needs someone to look after Aiden.

Alone with her son, they played with his toys on the living room floor and read his favourite book over and over until he fell asleep.

Her friends stopped by later that night for a bitch-fest over Chinese takeout and non-alcoholic wine while she gave them a detailed account of her confrontation with Liam.

"He's such a jerk. What an asshole. A total dickhead!" Sienna cussed and fumed and fussed, calling Liam every horrible word she could pull out of her very extensive vocabulary.

"But he's a very hot jerk," Lydia was always the voice of reason, and Eden had to agree she wasn't entirely wrong.

It's been hours since she left Liam in his glass and chrome castle, but the butterflies in her tummy still somersaulted at the memory of being in his arms again. They'd burned so brightly in that meeting room, the sparks between them were so intense they could have lit up a thousand wildfires.

But no matter how delicious his kisses were, and how she wished she could have stayed a little longer in his embrace, Liam's anger and hatred for her were just as palpable.

She couldn't close her eyes without seeing the look of disgust on his face when he saw Simon's ring on her hand.

No matter how hard she tried to banish them, his words, his wild assumptions about Aiden, kept playing in her mind over and over, like a broken record.

Every time Eden recalled his feelings about their night, she had to hold herself tightly because she was so afraid if she let go, she might lose the fragile grasp she still had on her sanity.

She couldn't unravel again.

She'd done enough of that earlier.

"So what are you going to do?" Cassandra asked, playing with the tips of her freshly cropped locks while she shoved fried rice in her mouth straight out of the carton; they'd chosen to forego plates because quite frankly none of them liked doing dishes.

"About what?" Eden asked, staring at the new haircut. She still couldn't believe she'd chopped off her gorgeous long hair.

When Cassandra sent a message in the group chat announcing her plans to go radical, they all thought it's a joke. The ash-blonde pixie cut suited her, though; it made her look years younger.

"About the job of course," Lydia sighed and rolled her eyes.

"I think it's safe to say it's off the table now," Eden replied.

She was back to square one; she had to double down on her freelance work. No corporate would hire her as a personal assistant with her three-months experience. She should have known something was fishy with the interview at Anderson Logistics, but blinded by foolishness and wild ambition, she'd ignored all the warning signs.

"Imagine if he finds out about Aiden," Sienna closed her eyes, shuddering at the thought. "I can see him waging an all-out war. If he's so furious with you over a hookup, he'll surely kill you for keeping such a huge secret from him."

"I don't think he'd care to be honest," Eden shrugged, blinking back her tears, praying she doesn't start weeping again. "He was very clear about how much he regrets our night. He called me a mousey librarian and admitted he would never have touched me if he wasn't drunk!"

Her brave attempt to keep it together failed miserably, and she dissolved into gut-wrenching sobs again at the memory, and Lydia had to run to the bedroom to get another box of tissues. The first one was dipping dangerously low. It was bad enough they didn't have any alcohol—they were still trying to figure out whose bright idea it was to forego real wine—running out of tissues would be catastrophic.

"Do I look like a mousey librarian?" She wailed over Sienna's shoulder, her eyes moist with tears.

"You do," Cassandra cooed while she gently patted her head. "But a very adorable mousey librarian."

"Is it because of my glasses, should I get contacts?" Eden sighed tearfully while Lydia wiped snot from her nose.

Her friend stared at the soiled tissue in her hands and made a disgusted face. "You've tried contacts; they irritated your eyes, remember?"

Eden nodded, her lips trembling, "Right."

"Liam's an asshole, don't pay him any mind. You are a TEN, baby! You hear me?" Lydia consoled her and held her tight, and Eden couldn't have loved her more for lying to her. She knew her strengths; she was far from a ten. But maybe it was time she switched up her look and joined the millions of singles bravely navigating the terrifying world of catfishing.

"I think I'm ready," she said after a long pause as they watched muted adverts on TV. She still hadn't sorted out her Netflix subscription, so they all had sit through the shitty national broadcasting channels with millions of ads in between shows.

"For?" Cassandra asked suspiciously.

"To date again," Eden announced as she took off Simon's ring. "I've held on to this long enough. And maybe subconsciously I also held out hope for Liam even though I knew I never stood a chance."

Sienna held out her hand, and she placed the ring in her palm. "We'll get this evaluated for you. Maybe you can get a fat paycheque from it."

"And if your looks bother you so much, I'll set up an appointment with Franco," Cassandra offered.

Franco is her very expensive hairstylist responsible for her chic haircut.

Now that Eden didn't have a lucrative contract in her hand, she didn't think she can afford a new hairstyle, especially from Franco. Mere mortals like her had to save for months to sit in his chair.

"It's my treat," Cassandra offered when she saw her hesitate.

"Thanks, I owe you one," Eden gave her a shaky smile, grateful for the three of them. They may fight and argue, but she knew nobody loved her as much as her friends. They were always there for her through everything, especially her poor life choices. Applying for a job at Liam's company was high up there on her very long list of poor life choices.

They sipped their kiddy wine and finished off their food in silence, groaning and rolling their eyes at the ladies on the screen sobbing their way out of the bachelor house because they didn't bag a rose.

"Remind me again why they still have these shows when we have Tinder, Grinder and Hot Connexions?" Cassandra asked, dumping her glass at her feet.

Eden glanced at it anxiously, making sure it's empty, she didn't want any spills on her floors.

"Imagine if Liam was the bachelor?" Lydia sparked to life and sat up, tucking her knees to her chin. "I mean the whole of Rock Castle would be begging for a rose and flocking to the bachelor house."

Eden threw up her hands in frustration. "He's married! And if anyone mentions him again, they'll have to take a shot of something. I'm so over him, please!"

Lydia chuckled, her eyes shining bright with glee, "Now, that's a game I can get behind."

"Pity we don't have any alcohol, though," Cassandra sighed, a look of longing in her eyes. Wine, beer and any alcohol really, were all high up there on the list of things she loved the most.

"I think you deserve a new boyfriend," Sienna said, changing the subject, they'd discussed Aiden's father long enough. It was time to move things along.

"Yeah, Edie," Cassandra agreed. "You wanted to see Liam, and now that you have, and we've concluded you guys can never be a thing, it's time to move on."

"Not this again, guys," Eden shook her head. "The last time you brought up a rebound, see where that got me."

"Touché," Cassandra sighed and sat back, her arms behind her head as she stared up at the ceiling.

"I'm setting up a Hot Connexions profile for you, you can thank me later," Lydia announced, refusing to give up on Eden's love life. "Trust me, okay? You'll be dating in no time and having the best sex of your life."

Eden laughed, but she highly doubted she'll have the best sex of her life ever again. That ship long sailed with Liam.

She tried to wiggle out of Lydia's plan. "Maybe I was too rash, let's pause on the dating."

But her friend wouldn't take no for an answer. She was already completing the signup form and asking her all kinds of very personal questions.

"Look at it this way," Lydia tried to sell her the dream. "If it doesn't work out, you can friend zone them and make them your handyman."

She didn't want to entertain the idea, but Eden found herself looking around the cramped living room. She'd barely begun to set up the place, ninety percent of her stuff was still in boxes, and she was yet to go up the roof to assess the damage. So it was for that reason alone she agreed to sign up with Hot Connexions.

She needed a handyman.

A boyfriend would be a bonus.