Begin Again novel Chapter 31

Liam was home for hours, but his mind was still in the meeting room, reliving his encounter with Eden.

He sat on the edge of the bed and absently twirled the glass of cognac in his hands.

To say his plan had unravelled as soon as he saw the shrew was an understatement. He'd acted like an inexperienced schoolboy, jumped her the first chance he got. Not his fucking proudest moment that's for sure.

The ring on her finger too had pissed him off greatly, more than he cared to admit, and he couldn't understand why. He loathed her, and the only reason he'd gone through such lengths to get her to sign with Anderson Logistics was so she could fix him and make him whole again. He really shouldn't care that she's married, that she's wearing some other guy's ring. But he did. And it pissed him off—

"Aren't you coming to bed?" Laura purred in his neck as she tried once more to take off his shirt.

Liam shrugged off her hands, and pushed her away again, wishing she'd get the hint already.

She'd been trying to get him into bed since they came back from Holly's ballet performance. It was his damn fault; he shouldn't have entertained her. But since he was eager to test out his newly functioning equipment, he'd gone along with her attempts. He lost interest as soon as it became painfully obvious he still couldn't get it up for her minutes into their make-out session.

"I'm off to a meeting, and I won't be back for a while," he announced as he finished off his drink and set the glass on the end table. "Maybe you should head to your place tonight?"

A hurt look flickered in Laura's luminous green eyes, but she quickly masked it with a severe frown as she fluffed up the mountain of pillows behind her and sat back on the bed, dragging the bedcovers up to her chin.

"How can you leave me alone when I came to spend the night with you? You are such a dick!" She whined, her garishly red lips pursed in a tight thin line, her eyes moist with tearful accusations. "Oh wait, you can't be a dick if you can't even get it up!"

On any other day, her words would have crippled him.

But not today.

Liam stood up, fixed his shirt and threw on his suit jacket, humming a catchy tune under his breath.

Kissing Eden, having her in his arms, touching her had proven he's not broken. He can still get aroused. He can still feel something. Just not with any woman who wasn't her.

And that's what Linda had to figure out.

His therapist was waiting in the deserted reception area when he made it to her office almost twenty minutes later. She quickly led him inside and shut the blinds.

"You shouldn't come here without an appointment," she reminded him sternly, but showed him to the couch anyway and pulled out her notepad from her desk drawer. "I had to juggle my diary to squeeze you in."

"I'm sorry," Liam smiled as he stretched out on the tan leather couch, well aware that calling her when he was already on his way over was pushing it. But it was an emergency, and he explained this to her.

"What kind of emergency?" Linda looked startled as she took her usual seat, the black contemporary wing chair, and opened up a clean page.

Liam wondered if the notebook is solely dedicated to him or if she has other clients in there. If it's only him, he must have vented a lot in past sessions because they were almost at the end. Pretty soon she'd have to start a new journal.

"So?" She thumped her fingers on the page.

"I found her," he said with a smug smile, noticing how she always keeps her nails short and clear of nail polish.

"The woman who left you?"

Liam nodded, and without any prompting from her, he told her all about their encounter and how he managed to locate Eden at last.

"That is hardly an emergency, Liam. It could have waited for our session next week."

Liam shook his head, "No, it couldn't!"

He knew an emergency when he saw one. An erection after two years is an emergency.

Linda closed her eyes and pinched the bridge of her nose, clearly annoyed with him. "How was your first meeting?"

"Fucking glorious!" Liam beamed brightly at her; a huge grin splitting his face. He was happy for the first time in a very long time. The end to all his problems was near; he could see the light at the end of the tunnel at last.

"How so?"

"I had an erection, Doc. I was fucking horny when I kissed and touched Eden. God, she felt amazing in my arms. Like she's made for me. If I didn't hate her so much, I would have taken her right there on that damn meeting room table, that's how much I wanted her. I can still get it up. Woo Hoo!" Liam shouted manically.

He felt exhilarated. Like someone had breathed new life into him, and he wanted to run to the highest rooftop and shout out how his joy for the world to see. He was almost back in business.

"That's good," Linda nodded. "So talking to her resolved your issue?"

"Not exactly. And this is where you come in—" Liam explained how he couldn't get aroused with Laura, no matter how long he tried to touch her or she tried to seduce him.

"Why did I react so strongly to Eden, but felt nothing for Laura?"

Linda fell silent for a long time but carried on scribbling.

Liam grew restless just watching her, and he was tempted to get up and snatch the notebook from her and read through her notes. Surely the answer to his million-dollar question was in there, and she simply didn't know how to explain it to him.

"Only you can answer that," his therapist said at last as she set the pen down and tapped her hands together, a thoughtful look in her eyes.

"No, Linda!" Liam threw up his hands in frustration. He was not happy with her response. "I already did half your job for you and cured myself. You have to figure out the rest."

"That's not how this works, Liam." She sighed, shaking her head firmly. "You have to figure out why you have such an intense emotional and physical reaction to this woman, and why it's at the exclusion of everyone else."

Liam didn't like where this was going at all; he rounded on her, his eyebrows furrowed in a perplexed frown. "You mean I have to do all the work myself? Then what exactly is your job? Why did I hire you?"

Linda shot out a frustrated sigh, "You did not hire me! And all your doctors told you there's nothing physically wrong with you. Your issue is psychological, and Eden's the trigger. Only you can do the work."

"So how do I do that?" Liam asked; he was all for suggestions. Now that he knew for sure he's not broken, he'd try anything. "How do I figure it out?"

"Try spending time with her." She looked at her watch. His free thirty minutes was almost up.

"I can't," Liam said, wishing he could undo their fight.

Hurtful words were said, more so on his part. There's no way Eden would want to see him again after this. The ring on her finger had sent him over the cliff, and he'd said every mean thing he could think of to hurt her because for a fiendishly insane moment he'd wanted to see her just as broken as she'd left him, if not worse.

"Why can't you?"

"I may have said things I shouldn't have," he admitted. "Besides Eden's married now and has a son with another man who I'm guessing is not the husband, some dirtbag who left her with the kid because she kept saying he's not in the picture. I mean, who does that? What kind of an idiot doesn't take care of his kid? Anyway, Doc, her life's very complicated."

"And you still kissed and fondled her?"

"I'm sensing a lot of judgement right now," Liam crossed his arms defensively. "And you always say this is a 'no judgement' zone. Besides, weren't you the one who told me to reach out to her?"

"That was before I knew she's married and has a child."

"But you said she's the only one who can fix me." He reminded her.

"I'm sorry Liam, we have to cut this short." Linda left her seat to check the reception area and make sure it's clear.

She was back a moment later and waved at him from the door to come through; it was safe for him to leave. No curious eyes were lurking around, waiting to sell the news of his visits to Scandal and Dirt, the country's best-selling gossip rags.

"Maybe try spending time with her in a non-intimate setting—a casual chat over coffee. Meet in public places." Linda suggested as she walked him to the service elevator. "Eden may be the key, but you still have to look inward and figure out what it is about that night, and about her, that broke you."

"I'll see you same time next week," Liam told her seriously. "And I expect a bit more research on the subject. It's time you earned your keep, Linda!"