"If you do not wish to meet under such circumstances, I can leave." My voice was soft but loud enough for Irvin to hear.
No one would want to be seen by their loved ones while lying on a sickbed with lingering sickness. Hence, to make sure that his emotions were taken care of, a gradual process was needed.
All Irvin did was stare at me like time and space were frozen. His gaze was unmoving, and he didn't even look mad. All that could be heard was the beeping noise from the machine indicating that he had a heartbeat and was very much alive.
In the world of adults, staying silent is a sign of indirect rejection, or it could mean that Irvin was not prepared to meet me.
A small smile appeared on his face and he gave a light nod, allowing himself to calm down. I understood how he felt, thus I made no complaints.
As I turned around, there was a voice behind me that said, "I was expecting you. Come and sit. I knew you were coming, sit."
Upon taking a deep breath, I suppressed the loneliness and cries in my heart and regulated my composure. I brought a smile up to my face and sat by the bedside.
"How are you feeling today? Are you feeling better?" These greetings were always hard to avoid, but it was still naturally said.
"Do you want the answer to be a negative or positive one?" Irvin asked with much effort, but still maintained a self-mocking expression. It was unsure who he was rivaling with.
I smiled then reached over and tucked his blanket in. Half-jokingly, I said, "You don't really have to care about my feelings at this point. You are the patient, so you have the right to do anything you want. Just say what you want to say."
Life was like a farce. When dealing with fights or arguments, people would always say a bunch of things that they didn't really mean.
However, when it came to the real deal with the god of death or the grim reaper, we would still be smiling, telling those around us that we were fine and we would get better. It was like lying to destiny, to be in defiance of the odds. It was still a self-deceiving show all along.
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