Right after I spoke, Irvin suddenly raised his voice.
"I want to marry you."
I raised my head slightly and looked into his stubborn eyes.
"You cannot reject me," Irvin said coldly. "I'm only like this because of you. In the beginning, in order to control Hendrix, the Marshall family decided to skip the human experiment and use you as a test against the radiation to determine if there would be any genetic changes. I offered myself in replacement of you and entered the experimental room in your place. Now, I am left to suffer the aftermath of it."
As he spoke, he laughed with a miserably weak look on his face. As I listened to his shocking revelation, I couldn't help but hold a greater grudge against him.
He sneered as he said, "The radiation's aftereffects can't be cured with medication. This is what you owe me, Arianna."
I was in the same boat as he was. We were both patients; how would I dare to be calculative at this point?
The pain of Irvin's sickness had significantly decreased his problem-solving abilities. He still had yet to realize that I was not the woman I used to be. Forgiveness and empathy would never work on me anymore.
The ward descended into pin-drop silence. Finally realizing that he had been rejected, hethen slowly laid down and stared blankly at the ceiling.
"It seems that even if I risk my life, you won't even bat an eye my way. How meaningless, everything is meaningless now. It'll be better if I just die."
After that, he stopped talking. His eyes were shut tight as if they'd been glued together.
If we were to do as the patient wished, even if it were an act or a lie, as long as the patient's wish could be fulfilled, the end- goal of providing encouragement could still be met.
However, Irvin was smart and he knew me all too well. Telling him a white lie was ridiculous to him; he could even perceive it as a sign of sympathy and an opposite result may occur. Hence, it would be best to just tell the truth.
And the truth was that I couldn't keep any promises. I just couldn't.
Irvin was not the only person that treated me well and loved me. If it was my life he wanted, I would give it to him in a heartbeat. However, I had to live well for the people I loved, and I couldn't hurt others just because of one person.
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