I thought I would refuse, but somehow, I hug him back and kiss him hard.
Probably worried that I would fall into the water, he puts his arm around my waist and lets me sit in his arms.
I'm lost in the kiss, and I just want to enjoy the intimacy of this moment.
"Chelsea."
Harrison lets go of me and calls me softly. I ask, "What?"
He looks up at me and mutters, "What should I do with you?"
His voice is very, very small. I don't know if he said that to me or to himself.
Later, he wraps me in a bathrobe and carries me to bed.
I can imagine what's going to happen next. I don't know if I'm looking forward to having sex with him, but I know I want to be with him a little longer.
Only with him, my heart will not be empty.
I'm being cheap again, but I have no other choice.
Harrison takes out a hairdryer from the drawer and walks up to me. Taking the towel off my head, he starts drying my hair. He moves so softly, as if I were his prized possession.
It's like spring sunshine, making me feel warm.
After drying my hair, we lie down on the bed. Unlike what I imagined, he didn't have sex with me. He just holds me in his arms and places his chin on top of my head.
"Harrison, I warned you not to be so good to me," I speak in a low voice.
He replies, "I can't help it."
It's so moving. I bite my lip to hold the tears at bay.
I cower in his arms, think for a moment, and say seriously, "I'm too lonely now. If you treat me well, I will rely on you. I may not be able to live without you in the future."
"As long as you're strong, you can live without anyone."
"What if I don't want to be strong? What if all I want is a peaceful life?" I look up and ask him.
He lowers his head slightly and looks into my eyes. I can't see much in his eyes because they are so clam.
"A peaceful life is not for you. You know it better than I do."
A tear rolls down my face as I laugh out loud. He looks at me with a complicated expression, but he doesn't say a word.
Actually, I should thank him for not directly rejecting me. I'm grateful I'm still in his arms. If it had been before, I would have put on my clothes and left, never to see him again.
"Your refusal leaves me with no reason to refute it." I calm myself down and speak in a helpless tone.
He strokes my hair and says faintly, "You should be used to this."
"I thought of something from the book."
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