I finished reading this page.
I endured the surging in my heart, but my memory was still a blank space. Zack had already arrived before I jumped into the sea. Why... why didn't I have any impression at all?
Moreover, Zack was such a cold and indifferent man, and the man who was so isolated and unwilling to explain for himself also felt pain for a very long time.
It was just that he didn't want to talk about his feelings. He'd rather let those feelings rot in his heart.
In fact, he would be sad because the woman he loved became someone else's, and he would also care about the existence of the child.
But he never told anyone.
I flipped to the next page-
"On the day when Em jumped into the sea, she wore a white dress. She was very beautiful... She once told me that she liked white. She said that white was the most tranquil color, and she just happened to have shortcomings of being calm."
"That's right, 19-year-old Em had just entered society and had not experienced the tempering of time, so she had the vitality that a young girl should have."
"She could not sit around and always smiles brightly. I once secretly thought about how she would look when she was sad, but when I did see her like that, it made my heart shattered."
She looked at me with fear and panic. Her beautiful eyes were full of despair. I said carefully and gently, "Em, come to me, I'm Zack, your Zacky, okay?"
"Zacky. In a year's time being with Benjamin, I didn't even know if she still remembered that name."
"She used to call me like this."
"And I also like it when she calls me that."
"I would never forget that day. Em asked me with fear and expectation, 'Zack, where is Benjamin?"'
"Her tone was full of sadness."
"Her face was covened in tears."
"I feared that she would do something stupid, so I had to coax her. 'He's on his way'."
As soon as I finished my words, she turned around and jumped into the turbulent sea, and I followed her without hesitation."
The waves that day were very violent, and I couldn't find her under the sea. In the end, I was taken ashore and sent to the hospital by Teresa's people.
"That was also the day when I started to hate Benjamin from the bottom of my heart. I thought that there would never be a day that I could make peace with him again."
"It was also from that day on that I had never talked to Teresa. Every letter she sent me was burned."
"Every single one of her feelings was ignored by me heartlessly."
"She killed my Em."
"On that day, I thought that I had seen the last of Em, so I was sad for a long time. Bob asked me with red eyes, 'Zack, what on earth are you sad about?"'
"He didn't know that I fell in love with Em."
"He didn't know about Em's death, either."
"'Bob,' I said pathetically, Tm sad for myself.'"
"The person I loved fell in love with another man."
"And I was the one that made it happen."
"I always remembered the scene when she jumped down from the cliff which seemed to have cut off all my hopes and magnified all my loneliness. Because of Em, I was almost depressed."
"But fortunately, I later heard that she was still alive."
"And she even had a new boyfriend."
"Well, it's good. As long as she's alive, I don't mind having anyone around her, even if it's Benjamin,"
"As long as she was fine, I would protect her."
"For the rest of my life, I would protect her."
"It didn't matter who I had to go up against."
"Even if it was myself."
After I finished reading the last two pages, I burst into tears again. "How can I deserve such love? How can I deserve his love?"
"How on earth could I deserve a man to be so humble for me?"
The Zack I knew should be as indifferent as the lotus on a mountain peak, like an iceberg, like a cold knife, like a bolt of lightning, like the roar of thunder, not so warm and emotional.
He was like a god that descended into the mortal world. But for whom? Me?
He jumped into the sea and almost died, but he was never willing to mention it to me, and had been hiding it from me!
When comparing the way he was willing to do anything for me to Benjamin was like the contrast between Benjamin and Steve.
Clouds and mud.
Flowers and the roots.
Everything in Benjamin was fake. It just happened that I... I couldn't see or figure out that person.
I stepped into his trap over and over again.
I'm the one who disappointed Zack.
However, he was willing to accompany me and did not remind me. He put in good words for Benjamin in many ways and was willing to suffer with me again.
He was still the same as before, and he was even more generous and calmer than before.
He was so good and so heart-wrenching.
I stretched out my hand and covered my heart. I didn't dare to think about what else was recorded in the notebook. No matter what was recorded, I wouldn't dare to bear it. I was never going to flip through it again.
I spent the whole afternoon in the living hall, feeling afraid and wronged. I didn't realize how hungry I was until evening. I reached out to touch my stomach and thought that I shouldn't make things difficult for the child in my belly.
I found out a lot of ingredients from the kitchen and cooked a lot of dishes. I didn't stop until the ingredients were all used.
I ate a bowl of porridge, and then the door was opened from the outside when I was about to refill my bowl. I changed the password and didn't tell him, so he had been using the key to open the door recently.
Benjamin threw the key on the sofa. He turned his head and saw the dishes on the table. He asked in surprise, "What's the occasion?"
"It's my birthday," I said, smiling hypocritically.
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