The rain was too loud for me to hear everything clearly before I finally fell into a deep sleep.
Perhaps it was the storm, but my night was filled with nightmares.
I dreamed of my past life, of memories I never wanted to revisit.
It was the second year of my marriage to Steven. He came back from a business trip with a high fever and was diagnosed with the flu. He was bedridden, barely able to move, his temperature soaring to 104 degrees. He couldn’t eat and coughed incessantly.
The doctor told me it was contagious and that while there was medication, I should try to avoid catching it.
But I wasn't worried about getting sick. I cooked him nourishing broths and brewed pear and rock sugar syrup to soothe his cough. Steven was delirious, drifting in and out of consciousness, completely dependent on me.
I changed the cooling patch on his forehead every few hours. I stayed up for two straight nights, finally collapsing from exhaustion, and fell asleep with my head resting on the side of his bed.
After two days of a raging fever, on the third day, he had a moment of clarity. He woke me up, his voice hoarse and dry.
“Zephyra.”
I woke up groggily. Seeing him looking more alert, I beamed. “Steven, you’re finally awake. How are you feeling? Are you still uncomfortable?”
I reached out to feel his forehead, but he flinched away, his brow furrowing.
“What are you doing?”
My hand froze in mid-air. I quickly pulled it back.
“Sorry, I just wanted to see if your fever was gone. The doctor said you started the medication late, so you might have a fever for a few more days. How are you now?”
Steven’s throat was sore. “Better. Don’t sleep in my room. Go back to yours.”
I froze, my eyes clouding over.
He didn't want me to touch him, and he didn't want me in his room. I was used to his coldness. I forced a smile. “Sorry, I was just so tired I dozed off for a bit. It won’t happen again. Are you hungry? I can make you something to eat.”
Steven coughed violently, then rolled over to face away from me, his voice filled with impatience.
“If you’re not tired, then cook. But I’m warning you, don’t get too close. You’ll catch it from me.”
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