I was reeling. My fingers tightened around my phone, my mind a complete blank. A whirlwind of emotions swirled inside me, but none of them was joy.
Horace had risked everything for me, and I would do the same for him. But thinking about what Rachel said, I realized that while Horace wasn’t my number one priority, I had always been his. It was just like how I used to put Steven first in my past life, making him the center of my universe. The difference was so obvious, yet I had been so blind that I needed Rachel to point it out before I could even begin to see the truth of Horace’s feelings.
Sensing she might have been too harsh, Rachel softened her tone.
“Zephyra, I… I’m not trying to guilt-trip you. His feelings are his own, and whether you accept them is your decision. It’s just… we’re all friends, and he’s loved you in silence for so long. Every year, every day, every time I see him act like he can’t speak his mind, I just get so frustrated for him. That’s why I couldn’t hold it in any longer.”
“Rachel,” I interrupted softly, leaning against the cool hospital wall. “I understand. I’ll think about it. You should get back to what you were doing.”
She agreed, and we hung up.
I stood there, staring blankly at the pharmacy pickup window, my mind too numb to think.
Ultimately, I knew I couldn’t return Horace’s feelings, at least not right now. I felt nothing for him in that way, and accepting him out of gratitude would be unfair to us both. Besides, I was done with love. So, I decided to just… pretend I didn’t know.
Yes. If I didn’t know, then nothing had to change. Everything could stay as it was.

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