Chapter 545
+25 Bonus
For five years, I had spent so much energy convincing myself to be practical. To keep moving and not get lost in fantasies. To lead the pack and raise the children and not fall apart waiting for something that might never come.
I had put the hope somewhere small and quiet where it couldn’t hurt me too badly.
And now here it was again in the form of a ruby, a letter, and a map.
If Celeste’s research was right, if I could truly enter the place that Andrei did when he disappeared, could I find him?
And most of all, would I even want to enter that place?
I knew what going in meant. I wasn’t naive enough to think stepping through a portal into the underworld was something I could just walk away from easily, or at all. Celeste had said that just the portal itself was remote, difficult to access, and located in a dangerous region.
That wasn’t even accounting for the fact that if I got there and something went wrong, Max and Jane and Hope would lose both parents instead of one.
I thought about that for a long time.
I thought about Max on the drive here, yawning in the back seat but still watching the tree line. About the way he’d looked at Andrei’s photo on my nightstand. About Hope’s crayon drawing with the dark–haired stick figure off to the side.
I thought about Jane, who had made her peace with it. Who was practical and steady and had quietly accepted the possibility that her father was gone. Jane, who I thought deep down had done that not because she truly believed it, but because someone in our family had to.
The letter was still in my hands. I folded it carefully, then slipped it into the box, tucked the map in beside it, and settled the ruby on top. I closed the lid and locked it and put the key in my pocket.
I wasn’t sure exactly what I was going to do, but I knew one thing: I wasn’t going to tell anyone about this just yet. I needed to think first. I needed to think clearly, without feelings clouding my judgment.
I tucked the box under my arm and went inside.
Dinner was quiet. David had made something simple and warm, and Max ate two full servings, which was a good sign. He’d been running on fumes since we had left Moonshadow, too nervous to eat. So had I.
Afterwards, Max went to bed. I sat with David and Karl for a while, and we talked about Celeste. About old memories, about things she’d said and done that had surprised them. It was nice to get a little insight on the woman who had baffled me one last
time.
I did not mention the contents of the box, and they didn’t ask.
When I finally went to bed, I lay in the dark and stared at the ceiling.
I thought about taking the box home, putting it in a drawer, and going on the way I had been going for the past five years. The children were fed and healthy and the pack was stable, and that was what mattered the most. It would be wiser to let this go and not risk turning the children into orphans when they had already lost so much.
But if Andrei was somewhere on the other side of a portal, and I had a map and a ruby and a fighting chance, and I did nothing anyway… Could I really forgive myself?
I wasn’t sure if I could forgive myself for either option. They both felt like doom.
In the morning, I got up early, the same as always. Max was already stirring when I knocked on his door.
“Ready to go to the mountain?” I asked, polding my head into his room.
Chapter 545
+25 Bonus
He nodded and popped out of bed immediately.
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