CHAPTER 63: The Sad Reality
SHE'S PREGNANT... AGAIN. Instead of being happy about the news, Lilian couldn't help but to feel worried. This will be the second time that she's going to bear a baby and the first one didn't turn out well.
Lilian couldn't help but to question herself even more. She's blessed with another baby by the goddess. But can she really be a good mother in the future? She lost her first baby before... reason for her to think that she doesn't deserve to be a mother. And it freaking hurts for her.
"This is your second pregnancy, Luna. This might be crucial to you since your first was..." Penny sighed, not really having the heart to complete what she's saying since it was a bit sensitive on Lilian's part. And aside from that, Calyx and Nadia might now know about it yet. She's not in the position to tell them.
"You're overworking yourself the past few days, Luna. From now on, I will not let you do the work alone in the pack. You need to seek help," Calyx said as he sighed deeply.
He never expected this to happen. This might be really hard for Lilian since Alpha Karius is not on her side anymore. And he knew how Lilian really worked hard for the past few days to get the trust of some wolves here in the pack who's not really in favor of her as the new alpha of the pack. And sometimes, even though Lilian was hiding it, Calyx could feel her sadness. He understands why she's pouring all her attention to her work because she wanted to forget the pain of losing Alpha Karius, but now that she's pregnant, he will do everything to make everything light for her especially now that she's pregnant.
Lilian remained silent, still processing what she found out in her head. The truth is she feels really... scared at this moment. She's scared for her child inside her. There are so many what ifs in her head right now that she couldn't form the right words to say.
And the thought of getting all through this without Alpha Karius on her side is making her anxious even more. Can she really do this alone?
What if... what if, like the first one, she will lose... no. She won't. She can never bear the pain of losing another angel again. It will kill her for real this time.
"What do you want, Luna? Is there any food that you want to eat? I could prepare it for you right away," Nadia said with her worried expression. Among the three, she's the one who's showing more emotions right now. Nadia could still remember how Lilian fell on the floor earlier. And if she fell the wrong way, something bad might happen to her. And she will blame herself for that. Nadia doesn't want to think about it anymore.
Lilian let out a deep sigh. "Just... leave me alone for a moment," she said instead, not sure anymore how she was able to say that.
They all nodded and moments later, they left her inside the room.
Lilian bit her lower lip as she closed her eyes. Will she become a good mother to her child? Can she do this alone?
"LUNA, THIS IS good for your pregnancy and your morning sickness. Here eat this..."
Lilian snapped out from her thoughts when she heard the familiar voice of Nadia again. She already stopped working to be more focused on her pregnancy. She will only help Calyx with some light works. Good thing he's good at what he's doing and would ask her some of her insights sometimes.
It was a challenge for her to stop working actually. Her head is not preoccupied again which means she's going to think about Alpha Karius again.
Sighing, Lilian smiled at Nadia. "Thank you, Nadia," she replied as she looked at the wide garden again. She prefers having her breakfast here since the air and weather is nice for today. It's a perfect way to relax early this morning.
She woke up early because of her morning sickness. And Lilian was glad that Penny is staying in the mansion for the meantime to always check on her.
Speaking of the mansion, Lilian decided to stay there from now on. She won't be staying in the tree house for the time being since it's dangerous for her. She needs to take care of herself thoroughly.
"Are you okay, Luna? Do you need anything?" Nadia asked, still not leaving Lilian.
Lilian shook her head. "Yes, I'm fine. Don't worry."
Nadia sighed, still not really sure if she's going to leave Lilian already. She saw the hesitation and worries in Lilian's eyes yesterday after Penny told her that she's pregnant. And Nadia also found out about her first pregnancy. Now, everything had sunk into her. Lilian's hatred before towards her and Alpha Karius was valid. She's not justifying her revenge but somehow, maybe it was her way to cope up with the pain that she bore for a long time when she was away from the pack.
Nadia clearly understands everything now. So, she promised to herself that she will do everything for Lilian from now on.
"You can leave, Nadia. I'm sure there are so many things to do in the mansion right now. I will be fine here," Lilian said again.
Nadia became silent for a few seconds. "Luna..."