After seeing Benjamin off, I drove his car to work. When I arrived at the office, I saw September was also there. I sat beside her and said jokingly, "You are quite early."
September drank her milk and explained, "I wanted to continue our conversation last night."
Realization dawned on me. "Oh, that's right. You haven't told me the secret yet."
September curled up on the sofa. I took off the scarf on my neck, which was tied by Benjamin, and asked, "What is it?"
"I mentioned last night that my college classmate is Teresa's relative, so I asked her a lot of questions."
September was not a gossipist. She was willing to ask these questions only because Benjamin was my man.
She was worried about me.
September's tone was calm as she said, "There are just words that I heard from heard, so you have to be the judge of that yourself."
"Sure," I said. Then she said, "Benjamin once had a relationship with Teresa but they broke up! So Teresa is at most an ex. But the reason is that Teresa has divorced. I heard that she had the idea of getting back with Benjamin. I originally believed in your man, but I heard that he spent more time in City B than here, so... you know what I meant."
I bit my lips and asked, "Do you want me to keep an eye on him?"
Once, at the night when I lived in City B, Teresa called Benjamin. At that time, Ben was angry with me and left me alone in City B.
But thinking back on that night, he might've left me alone regardless of whether he was angry or not.
To put it another way, Benjamin probably just used his so-called anger as an excuse.
But I didn't believe him, because he had explained that he was angry because I didn't tell him my real name, which made him waste five years to find me.
September shook her head and said, "Emma, you met Benjamin and even got married immediately after you were divorced with Steve! In my impression, you're not an impulsive person. From my logic, I can only conclude that it was not fate that brought you together."
"Not fate?" I was perturbed. "What do you mean?"
"I mean you have something he needs. He has something you need as well, so you got together because of benefits." September's observation and analysis abilities were top-notch. She didn't want to mention many things, but it didn't mean that she didn't understand.
So it was the same as what happened with Joel. She understood that she didn't force him, and she even pushed herself into a desperate situation in front of him so that she hated him to the core, and there was no possibility for her to get back together with him.
Her love was both straightforward and deep.
September reached out to hold my hand and said, "There's a reason Steve left! And you... you paid with yourself. I didn't mean to make you feel bad. I just wanted to give you a warning. Because if there is no love in your relationship, at least not real love, and you don't know him well. What I want is that you get a clear picture of the situation before you throw yourself into it."
Actually, I had already thrown myself into it.
That's how I was with Benjamin. It was a deal that had nothing to do with love.
But after I knew that I was Edith, and after I knew that he still loved Edith, I thought that he loved me.
But it was always what I thought and Ben didn't say a word about his feelings, not to mention love.
If it weren't for September's reminder today, I probably would've lived in the illusion for a long time. Maybe... Benjamin still had some feelings for Edith, not me.
What if the person he really loved was Teresa?
I began to let my thoughts run wild about Benjamin. September clenched my hand and said softly, "The Dunn family is very high ranking in the authority, and the father and grandfather of Benjamin used to be military commanders. Benjamin also stayed in the army for nine years. I'm afraid this is the first time that you've heard of this, judging from your surprised look. It seems that he has hidden a lot of things from you."
I knew that I didn't know anything about Benjamin, and I knew nothing about his family. But when September told me about it, I couldn't help but feel sad. It was Benjamin who made me feel that way because he had never been honest with me. I heard everything about him from others.
He wouldn't tell me anything even if I asked him.
I endured the sourness in my eyes and said, "I know what you mean, but I can't be saved, September. I'm in too deep."
I fell in love with him again.
The time after Benjamin left grew longer and longer. At first, he would leave for two days. And then he broke his promise. During his disappearance, he never called or gave me any explanations. I called him but he never answered.
Vaguely, I felt that something had gone wrong.
September's words wandered in my mind, and I finally began to realize something. As time went on, I was left to wait, waiting for Benjamin to come back from City B to give me an explanation.
However, Benjamin had completely disappeared. I hadn't heard any news about him for three months, but I had found out that I was pregnant with his child.
While I was in fear and waiting, I met Bently on a business trip to City B. He hypnotized me again. I woke up with tears and said helplessly to him, "I still can't remember."
I couldn't remember what happened between me and Benjamin.
After walking uneasily on the streets of City B for two hours, I took the afternoon flight back to my own city.
As soon as I got off the plane, I received a phone call from Joel. He asked, "Emma, September didn't abort the child, did she? The child is still there, right?"
It was actually too late for him to ask.
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