Married with the Broken Hearted CEO novel Chapter 101

Adira’s POV 
Often, when someone has a head injury, she won’t remember the details of the accident. What happened, how she got hurt and who’s with her during the incident. 
But as soon as opened my eyes, everything came to me so vividly. 
I recalled how I saw the sign board above that was swaying down, when I looked at Chadwick who was standing beneath, when I ran towards his side and when I pushed him away and got hurt instead. 
Above all, the realization I had while running towards him came to me like a wave. It wasn’t calm, gentle, or destructive. 
Just… something I expected ever since I admitted that it might be possible to fall in love. 
I blinked my eyes slowly while looking at the white ceiling above the hospital room. Back then, I really thought I saw the underworld. But it really seems that someone like me was blessed with long life. 
As I was inwardly about to laugh, a voice called me. 
“A-Adira?” 
My numb body, which did not move for long hours, tingled as I turned my head to where the voice came from. Then surprisingly, I saw someone whom I never thought would stay here by my side. 
‘Why is he here?’ 
“My daughter, finally, my daughter woke up,” father said, sitting beside on the bed and crying. 
I watched him sobbed loudly while looking at me. His eyes sunken, and their dark circles underneath. He looks like he’s been up for long days, no eating, no drinking, and no sleeping. 
‘Did… my father wait for me to regain consciousness? Him?’ 
 All of a sudden, I remembered the sweet father who used to hug me within his arms. It was an image that I was forgotten ever since mom died and father gave me a cold shoulder. But now, he’s making an expression which makes me recall the irrecoverable days. 
“I thought I’m gonna lose you my precious again,” he sobbed. 
Precipitously, I felt warm yet trembling hands wrapping mine. 
For a long time, I thought that my relationship with father would never fix. 
Gradually, my eyes went to the hands holding mine. Then it set in. The memories of the time when he I tried to rich for him, but he pushed me away; and the disgust look in his face. 
Why would I forgive and accept a father who threw me away when I was a kind? 
Even without strength, I pulled my hand away from him and stared at his eyes. I did not realize that I was already crying, not until my sight turned blur.
“Did you just remember that I am your child when you thought that I’ll die?” I asked. 
The proud Falcon, whom I thought would wipe his tears and pretend that nothing has happened, held my hand again. This time, it wasn’t tight, but gentle. 
My teary eyes beheld at the man who did not give me the affection I wanted to have in young age. It was hard fighting alone. It was hard being lonely. It was hard to lose all my emotions as I was used to getting rejected. 
I wanted to say all my complaints towards him because he’s acting like a real father. Yet, I couldn’t bring a thing while watching his sincere expressions. 
“I was wrong. I am sorry. If you think that I failed a lot as your father, I will accept it,” he said, crying. “But never once have I abandoned you. My precious, my only one.” 
I couldn’t understand. 
How it is possible for him to say that he never abandoned me? 
My memories in the past aren’t complete. Yet, I can remember some of the details. After mother died, father rejected seeing me anymore. He flinched and had this disgust look whenever I came to him. And then, he sent me away to live with only a nanny by my side. 
And then, what? 
He never abandoned me? 
“You made me confused,” I said, smiling at him while something warm kept on falling from my burning eyes. “The meaning of abandon, I thought it is the shadow of you name, father.” 
“No,” he declined, shaking his head. Then all of a sudden, he knelt down on the ground. 
A wave of sadness and irremediable sorrow overcame me. There were layers of unsettling emotions rising in my throat, and my cry turned to whimpers. 
I wouldn’t say that I didn’t wait for this. Yes. Once in my life, I dreamt of hearing an apology from him. And I thought it will never happen, even in my death. But now, he’s here, kneeling down. 
A great pang gripped my heard and I cried in low moan. 
I should hate him. But my heart was twisted, and the words strangled my throat. 
“You might have thought that I pushed you away, but I did not,” father said. 
For the first time in my life, I listened to him. And father told me everything that is new to me. 
After mother died, I suffered from PTSD, an illness which withdrew me from being a normal kid. In my eyes, I could see people blaming me for my mother’s death. And that includes my father. In order to cure my illness, father had no choice but to send me away from the people who made me remember mother. The result? I was cured, but I lost the emotions. 
I isolated myself from the world and believed that there’s no need for me to long for any affection; whether it is from my family, a friend or a lover. 
But I met Chadwick. 
I suddenly had a dream of being a mother in order to  forgive myself. Because until now, I blamed myself for her death.
As I learned my past, I cried in exasperation, that I thought I would lose all the air in my lungs. 
We stayed in this place while listening to our silent sobs. 
Voice faded, and next came silence. 
After a long cry, I calmed down. 
The painful world I created and I used in order to justify myself, it is now the time to leave it. 
Somehow, I thanked a certain person who told me that everything will be fine as long as I learned how to listen. 
‘It worked. It really worked.’ 
With misted eyes, I looked at my father who’s sitting on the chair next to my bed. He finished crying too and now staring at the ground. 
I wanted to ask him the reason why he let me marry Chadwick. If he really cares for me, he shouldn’t have arranged a marriage for business purposes. 
“Why did you let me marry Chadwick?” 
At my question, he lifted his head and looked into my eyes. 
“Why?” I repeated the question. 
Unanticipatedly, my father painted a smile that is like a fine wine, bitter and sweet. 
“You were the one who agreed on the marriage,” he answered. 
“Well, you suggested it to me,” I rebuked. 
“Adira,” he said in slow pace, as if he’s treasuring each letter. “I didn’t mean to use you for our company. But when I first told you about the arranged marriage, I saw sparks in your eyes. As if for the first time, you saw the purpose of life.” 
For a moment I tried to remember that very day Father told me about the offer of marrying Chadwick McElroy. The first thing that came to me is… 
‘...to be a mother like mom.’ 
Perhaps, that is the first time I decided to forgive myself.
“It was you who desperately chose this,” father added. 
Bit by bit, I diverted my gaze back to him. Then, I smiled. “I divorced my husband.” 
“...”
He did not reply. 
But to my surprise, he doesn’t look shocked. 
“I know. Chadwick told me about it,” father said. 
‘What? Chadwick did?’ 
“He told me that you two divorced and that he really loves you.”
‘Oh how brave you were, Mr. McElroy. Didn’t know you’ll do all of that while I was unconscious.’ 
“That man, he stayed by your side, waiting for the time when you’ll open your eyes.” 
I felt my face contorted as though I was struggling to hide my reactions. But maybe, I failed. It was hard to control something when I got edged in my limit. 
“Aren’t you angry?” I asked him. 
“Why would I?” father refuted, then smiled at me again. “I just realized one thing. While watching you sleeping after saving your husband, I found out the reason why you divorced him all of a sudden.” 
Many say that I got my talent in business from my father, and I resembled him a lot. Maybe, there is one thing that I got. 
The courage to admit my feelings. 
“You fell in love with Chadwick, right?” 
When he asked the question, I felt that the secret that my heart kept on hiding from me had opened.