I was so devastated after my daughter pushed me away. I talked to my son and asked him to stay with her sister tonight. I know that Amelia needed her brother right now. Even though Amelia bullies her twin brother most of the time, Alistair is still her confidant.
I am planning to go to my parent’s mausoleum tonight. I needed to see them with all the things happening now.
This is what I always do whenever I feel down and lonely. Just being with my parents comforts me, especially when I start praying to God with them. It is just like when they are still alive, we pray and worship God together.
It’s a good thing that I made this mausoleum exactly like our home, especially in times like this. I can stay here for as long as I want.
When I went inside and saw my parent's grave, tears start to fall again. Losing them only seems like yesterday.
“Mom,” My voice broke.
“My daughter hates me. She doesn’t want to listen to my explanation. She thought that I will take them away from their father. I should have made Hadley shut up and drive her away instead of listening to her delusion.” I told them.
I really wish you are still here with me, I need a hug from you guys.
“Mom, Dad, I made a big mistake. I knew that my plan was crazy and not pleasing to God but I continued anyway. I only think of myself and my happiness. I did not consider my children. My children are the one who is suffering because of my selfishness. And now, being hated by my daughter is the worst feeling. I don't know if she will still give me a chance to explain myself to her. I am dying just thinking about my daughter hating me.”
I am starting to hate myself now for being so selfish in the past. My children are innocent they don't deserve to be hurt. But now they are hurting because of me.
“But mom, dad, I can’t say that I regret having them in my life. Alistair and Amelia completed me when I feel so broken because I lost both of you. I keep on telling myself to stop being selfish but my children are the best thing that happened to me. And I don't regret that.” I added.
“Mom, Dad, please pray with me as I pray to God to help me to reconcile with my daughter. And help me to be a good mother to them.” I said then I start praying to God.
I let myself cry like there is no tomorrow. I want to give myself this time to cry because I need to fix myself for my children. I can’t be like this forever. I need to move on. My children need me.
I need to finish my mourning and start to be a mother again to my children. After this, I will make sure that I will win my daughter back.
I fell asleep but I was suddenly awake but a bit groggy because I felt like someone is carrying me. I don't know if it's real or not. Maybe I was just dreaming. And then I hear a voice after that person put me down to bed.
“Sleep well, my love. I promise you, that I will do everything to lessen your pain. I will get rid of the people who keep bugging you and I will help you to reconcile with our daughter. I will do everything for you, my love. I love you so much.” The voice said.
What this person said just gave me so much comfort. It was exactly what I needed... I needed someone to assure me that everything will be alright and that I am not alone in this.
When I woke up, I was hearing laughter outside. I look at the surroundings and my forehead creased.
I know this place. Why am I here? I remember that I fell asleep at my parent’s grave. Why am I here? Why am I in my former room in our mansion?
I was still lost but I manage to walk outside my room. I wanted to know who owned the voice and laughter that I am hearing right now because it sounds so familiar.
Then I saw my parents, my tears fell. They were happy doing what we love to do.
Eating in our garden while mom and dad prepared the barbeque.
“Mom, dad!” I called them.
They turn their head on me and smile.
“Our baby.” They both said.
I went to them and hug them real tight. I long for this moment to happen and it's finally happening. I can’t believe it.
“Why are you crying, my love?” My mom asked me while caressing my face.
“I miss you so much, mom, dad!” I said while crying.
Thank you, Lord. Thank you for this.
“We miss you too so much baby.” My mom said while wiping my tears.
I hug them again, savoring this moment. I keep on telling them how much I love and miss them.
My dad invites us to eat. We ate in the garden just like we used to do. I miss this. I miss having a meal with them. I was eating while crying, while my mom and dad were smiling at me.
We were on our usual spot in the garden. I was still hugging them. I was afraid that this will be gone any moment.
“I am sure that this is just a dream. If it’s possible, I don’t want to wake up anymore. I just want to be with them, Lord.” I whispered.
My mom breaks from my hug and turns her face toward me.
“Baby, don’t say that again. As much as we want to be with you like this forever, you need to go back. Your children and especially Ulie needs you.” My mom gently said.
I furrowed. “I know mom and dad that my children need me. But why did you also include that guy?! He was the one who killed you!”
“Ulie has nothing to do with what happened to us. It was an accident.” My dad said.
“But he was the one who caused it! If it wasn’t for him, there will be no accident!” I hissed.
“Baby, listen to us. Stop blaming Ulie for the accident. He never wanted it to happen. He suffered enough. You need to help him to let go of the guilt that he was carrying for years.” My mom said.
“But because of him, I lost you,” I said and cried hard.
“And it was also because of him that you have your children right now.” My mom said.
I was taken aback. They are right. If I did not meet Ulie that night, I don’t think that I can do a one-night stand with another guy that night. I mean, many guys approached me and I like none of them.
“Ellie, everything happens for a reason. You lost us, your only family but you also gain a new family. It was already our time. We need to respect that.” My dad said.
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