I took Neil's phone to check out a group chat he had with several doctors. It contained all of my dad's test results and the doctors' recommendations.
Reading the detailed analysis, the words felt familiar yet so alien when strung together.
"You don't have to take my advice. You can let your dad continue with the surgery at the current hospital," Neil said, mistaking my silence for doubt.
It wasn't that I still doubted him; it was more that my heart was in turmoil. I had thought my dad had early-stage lung cancer, something that could be fixed with surgery and then managed with good care. The news Neil brought was a hard pill to swallow, indicating my dad's condition was far from simple.
"I understand, thank you," I finally responded, handing back his phone with a mix of emotions swirling inside me, yet unable to voice any of them.
Getting my dad to agree to hospitalization and surgery was a feat achieved through a bit of deception on my part, feigning illness to win his compliance. Telling him now that his condition might be more complicated could potentially make him resist further treatment.
The atmosphere grew heavy for a moment, interrupted only by the occasional sound from Hiram's direction.
Neil asked, "Are you okay?"
"Yeah, it's getting late. Are you guys heading back, or…?" I tried to sound casual, hiding my inner turmoil with a deep breath and a forced smile.
I needed some time alone.
That's when Hiram came over, his voice cautious, "Ms. Finch, could I stay over tonight? I'm going to the hospital tomorrow, and I'd like to spend more time with my siblings tonight."
"Hiram…" I was about to refuse, but the hopeful look in his eyes made me hesitate.
"Let's head back home, Hiram. We shouldn't impose on Ms. Finch," Neil intervened, gently taking Hiram's hand.
Hiram was mature for his age; sensing the tension, he didn't push further.
Feeling a bit guilty, I comforted him, "Hiram, I'm a bit tied up recently. How about I have you over once things settle down, okay?"
"Okay!" Hiram's reply was cheerful, his eyes bright with happiness.
Neil gave me a profound look, which I avoided, not wanting him to see the anxiety lurking in my eyes.
After they left, I collapsed onto the sofa, feeling drained, as if I were a puddle of mush. Serena and Brandon had already been taken to bed by the nanny, leaving me alone in the living room. I began to obsessively search for lung cancer treatments on my phone, almost convinced by Neil's words, wondering how to break it to my dad that he might need to reconsider his treatment plan.
The thought of Karina flashed through my mind – her reputed medical skills could be a beacon of hope for my dad.
No, I immediately dismissed the thought.
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