He just stared at me. Jared scared me sometimes because when he looked at me it was like he could see into my soul, like he could see everything I was hiding.
"Why are you looking at me like that?" I asked as we both walked into the kitchen. Ever since I found out I had gone straight off coffee and suddenly taken a liking to tea.
"You sure you're alright darling?" Opening the backdoor he light his smoke and stepped outside. I hated lying to him and I know when I finally decide to tell him he'll be hurt. He was going to be an uncle yet I wasn't in the right frame of mind to tell anyone.
I had only found out about 2 months ago. I wasn't feeling good, I was sick every morning and I couldn't seem to keep any food down. That's when I knew something was up. At first I was a wreck. I didn't know what to do heck I didn't know if keeping it was the right thing but then I realised I had a tiny human growing inside of me. Something that Blaze and I had made together. Yes he may not be around anymore but this child was mine and I was going to love and cherish it unconditionally.
"You look different".
"That was a quick smoke" Jared observed everything and something told me he was very close to finding out my little secret. I wasn't showing very much and I could still fit into my normal clothes. The only thing that I had noticed changing were my boobs.
"You're hiding something. I observe everything Ava it's part of my job and there is definitely something different about you. You don't smoke anymore and I haven't seen you with a cup of coffee in months".
Shit!!
Switching on the kettle I tried to busy myself "I'm still me Jared I'm just doing what's good for me. Stopping smoking isn't a bad thing and I was drinking way too much coffee".
"You hate tea" He stated as I dropped a teabag into my cup. His nose was scrunched up and his arms were folded across his chest. "You can't even stand the smell of it".
"Jared" I sighed "Honestly will you just drop it?. I'm not hiding anything, I'm not acting differently I'm just trying out new things. Is that a crime?" Pouring the hot water into my cup I placed the teabag onto the sink. I knew he wasn't convinced but I was glad when he stopped.
"Okay I'll drop it but you do know if something's wrong you can come to me right?"
I knew he was always going to be there for me. Our relationship was special and I was glad we had got to that stage. He was one of the best guys I knew. It made my heart swell at how much trust he had in me.
"He made me promise to look after you"
"Please don't" I whispered. I didn't want to talk about Blaze and he knew that. We hadn't had the chat yet and truthfully I didn't want too. "I'm doing okay Jared and that's all you need to know. I'm living the life I deserve and that's what he wanted so please don't think you have to always be there for me". Bringing the cup to my lips I blew gently before taking a sip.
"He's doing okay. Still a miserable, crabbit bastard but he's okay" He laughed but I didn't find it funny. I didn't want to hear that he was okay.
"Why are you telling me this?" Frowning I looked down at my feet. I didn't want to think about him anymore. It was all I had done and I was sick of it. He left me not the other way round I just had to keep telling myself that. I was sick of feeling sorry for myself, sick of thinking I needed him. I was finally getting over him and the last thing I wanted was to be reminded of what he had done.
"Thought you'd want to know he's safe Ava and-.."
"No Jared I don't want you to tell me anything about him. He is not part of my life anymore so I don't need to know. I'm moving on and the last thing I need is for you to keep reminding me that he's not here and that he's not coming back". I knew I was getting worked up and no matter how hard I tried not to I couldn't help it.
"Got it sweetheart I'll say no more. Listen I have to go. Be good and stay safe" Kissing the top of my head I watched as he left through the backdoor.
Locking it after he left I continued throughout the house locking windows and my front door as I went. I wanted to freshen up before Ally arrived so a bath was definitely on the cards.
........
Ally arrived around 9pm. I was already curled up on the sofa in clean pjs watching crappy TV. When she walked in though I couldn't take my eyes off the rock she was wearing on her ring finger.
"I've missed you girl" Sitting down next to me she pulled me in for a hug.
She was engaged?
"I've missed you too now tell me when the hell he put that ring on your finger".
"Shit Ava I'm sorry I forgot to take it off" Standing up she attempted to pull it off.
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